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Adult Step Issues - Woke up this morning in need of advice

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Submitted by step to grown c... on Mon, 05/23/2022 - 10:37am

I woke up this morning in need of some advice and even though I have not visited the site in a while, when I did , I learned a lot here, heard some hard truths, and have made some great improvements in my life... thanks to all of you. 

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SELF-HELP BOOKS

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Submitted by step to grown c... on Wed, 07/24/2019 - 12:55pm

 I have been looking at some self-help books I thought could provide some guidance not only for my DH but me too as I have children of my own soon to be little adults. I have heard wonderful things about the Jim Burns book below:

1. Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out Paperback – March 26, 2019

by Jim Burns Ph.D 

2. Now That They Are Grown: Successfully Parenting Your Adult Children

by Ronald J. Greer

3. Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse 

I just let the MIL have it... well sort of lol

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Submitted by step to grown c... on Wed, 07/24/2019 - 9:31am

For years, my MIL has always stuck her nose in our business, or making calls and decisions that are completely out of her lane and definitely covertly retaliates when she feels like we or mainly me has wronged her precious babies. The skids run to her to complain and she ends up doing something drastic in return like to teach us a lesson, i guess?

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So my DH thinks I'm a bully...

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Submitted by step to grown c... on Sun, 07/21/2019 - 2:38pm

So, I got home last night around 8:30 pm. Went looking for a birthday present for my mom. DH was grilling and drinking some beer. I didnt say much. I went to bed watched TV. 

I found his phone dead on the kitchen counter so I plugged it in to charge it. By this time, he was already asleep.

Not too proud because I have never looked at his internet history but anything else we share passwords for: social media, email.etc. we are faithful so we have nothing to worry about.

Estranged SD25

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Submitted by step to grown c... on Sun, 07/21/2019 - 9:13am

So oldest SD25 has been estranged from DH for 2 yrs. We haven't seen her, we have religiously sent her xmas, birthday presents etc and she has replied via text only to DH with thank yous. She sends happy birthday or happy fathers days texts to DH but no conersation.

The reason for the estranged is complicated and very personal which included legal matters so I apologize for not going into details.

update on ~ mooch ~ part deux

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Submitted by step to grown c... on Sun, 07/21/2019 - 7:16am

Last night I got to read SS's text to my DH. Turns out MIL (SS's grandma) has been trying to get SS to move in w them so he can save what he is currently paying on electric and internet while staying at our house. 

Why do GP continue to enable grandchildren to the point where there they have absolutely no responsibilities?

random question: does your SO/DH/DW make Skips comparisons?

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Submitted by step to grown c... on Fri, 07/19/2019 - 2:50pm

I was just thiking about my kids. I think my children are pretty good teens. My oldest graduated a year early from HS and has already completed a year in college about to start sophomore year. Has had a job since 16 and used to pay own phone, contributed to car insurance and phone bill. working part time, I did buy the car and pay for phone, dad pays for helth insurance, lives with me but I dont pay for anything else. pays for own medical copays etc.

Biochild#2 straight A student still in HS. 

Biochild#3 straight A student still HS.

update on ~ mooch ~

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Submitted by step to grown c... on Fri, 07/19/2019 - 11:20am

DH finally put pressure on SS to start helping out with second house mortgage. House we do not live in but 20 yr old SS lives there for free. Just a little history to catch you up.... We decided to give SS a few months after graduating from HS and subsequently graduating from a summer technical program, to save up for a vehicle or buy any toys he may have been wanting etc. enjoy his first few paychecks so to speak.. BAD IDEA! here we are a two years later. The SS decided he is going to move in with grandparents so he can continue to live rent free and allow us to rent the entire house.

SS old vs new ~~~ Girlfriend that is...

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Submitted by step to grown c... on Thu, 06/20/2019 - 10:07am

So it turns out that at least one of my dilemmas has been solved.

DH had a talk with the son the other day and son went into a deeper conversation about the sharing of GF's phone number. Turns out, son has been a little frustrated with DH's extended family for having continued contact with son's ex-GF. Son dated ex-GF all through HS and the entire family loved her. They broke up when she moved away for college. He moved on and found another girl.

bad or good options please?

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Submitted by step to grown c... on Wed, 06/19/2019 - 1:04pm

so DH and I have been talking about the BS going on with his kids. He agrees being too soft and standing up for himself or for me. I have been with this man for 10 years and I am honestly tired and ready to move on without him and he can go back to his dear family and htey can have him. He doesnt want to leave me and says he wants to fix it. we are trying to figure out ways to for him to resolve some od these issues so that we all get along - not expecting family vacations etc but be able to visit without all of this pettiness.

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