According to DH BM only ever did anything for her boys if it won her accolades from people, ie football team mom and on boards here and there. When it came to home life and raising her boys properly, it was DH that did everything from changing diapers to cooking to working full time and even cleaning. She did NOTHING. She still does NOTHING. No presents, no cards, no money for presents. Three times since being with DH she has taken ss16 out for a quick hour lunch and that was only b/c ss19 insisted he come along. I am not sure how the boys will be with their mom once they're adults. Just last week she bought herself a convertible Mustang. Yup.

I can see full time being a good thing now. Ss16 is very much grown into what we want him to be, in a lot of ways. When first meeting dh and ss he needed so much, he was less trained then mine were at ages 3 and 4. But over the years he has learned and is now mostly just a typical teen who goes off with friends, plays xbox does the odd chore and hangs out in his room mostly unless we're BBQing outside or watching a family movie.

My bs15 is getting to the point where he'd like to not have to go to his dad's eowe b/c it really is an inconvenience. (his words!) He likes routine and his own room and computer. I think in the next year we'll see bs not going over more then say once every month or two or just special occasions. He likes his grandma and grandpa though so maybe he'll start going there more often then over to his dad's place. IDK, we'll see.