So BM and I are real friendly now and she confides in me and we are one big happy family just like I always wanted. Or is it?

Just to get it out of the way I'll say, yes, maybe I am crazy myself for wanting this relationship with bm after all she has done. My only excuse is my love for SD. IF you could only see how much better she is now that DH and I are on BM's good side.

So now BM has informed me she is finally seeking professional help for what she has always thought was "anxiety". Only when her medical Dr refered her to a psychiatrist she has now been diagnosed as bipolar. She admitted to me that she has been very depressed lately and has feelings of hopelessness. Sometimes she says she thinks SD is nothing like her and now that she does not have custody she is not really raising sd at all. I of course, did all that I could to tell her otherwise and point out all of the good traits I think sd must have gotten from her.

She told me she admitted to the DR that she has had some thoughts of suicide, but she says she would "never really do anything". The Dr did not want to allow her to leave the office and BM had to call the exfiance's mom to convince the DR she would be alright.

Then on Friday, BM allowed us to pick up SD for the weekend for Dh's family Christmas. After I got SD from BM's twin sis, I got a call from BM's mom. She told me she did not know what all BM has told us of her mood lately, but that she wanted us to know that BM had checked herself into a hospital for her depression and may be there 3 days or longer. Bm's mom just wanted us to know because she knew BM was supposed to have SD for the first half of holiday break. I told BM's mother we appreciated her telling us and we want to help any way we can.

Then BM starts blowing up our phones the very next afternoon! We were confused, and it got worse. DH called BM back only to hear the strangest story. BM says it was her exfiance who was mad at her for something she will not say, that called the police claiming BM was threatening to kill herself and had her forcefully taken for evaluation.

Dh sat on the phone with BM at least 45min, just listening to her and reasuring her we are not interested in taking her to court and we only want to help and for both her and SD to be safe.BM was relieved, then confided in DH some other things.

Bm told DH that the exfiance has raped her before and the he has drug problems and puts drugs up his rectum with a turkey baster. Yep, that's what she said. So DH confronted her and said he does not like her leaving SD with exfiance. BM says, "oh, well that hasn't happened in a long time". DH, knowing everything BM tells me, called her out because just last week BM called me upset she was at her apartment tearing it apart looking for a check she lost and said she left SD with exfinace. BM tells DH, "what check?", then says, quietly "oh, well she wasn't just with him, his mom was there." Again, DH called her out, "no, you said his mom just pulled up when you got there". BM:"Oh, well, he would never do anything to SD, he loves SD." BM declares she is not going back to work for exfiance's mother, AKA BM's sugarmama, and she does not want anything to do with exfiance after he caused her to spend the night in the psych dept at county hospital.

Fast forward to yesterday. I took SD to BM at her apartment and SD begged me and 5mo BD to stay a while. Bm then invited me and she seemed to be doing well so I did. AS we are visiting her phone begins to ring on the arm of the couch next to me, wouldn't you know it is exfiance calling, she answers and they proceed to discuss the two of them taking SD to the movies together!

So I guess I shouldn't be surprised, and who knows what the real story is because it was DH she talked to and I believe it is still a real treat to her to get his attention.

Now about me. I have been inside BM's apartment many times since she moved there and enjoy looking at photos. On previous visits I noticed a photo of DH with SD and Cousin from last CHristmas. A photo I took and gave to BM's mother along with many other photos from last year. I also gave many photos to BM that I had taken of SD and BM and BM's family. I remember specifically that the photo with DH was NOT included in the ones I gave BM. So I saw the photo was located in SD's bedroom wich I thought was sweet.

Yesterday BM is on the phone and as I look around at the same photos I see every time I am there, BAM! there now right in front of is an 8x10 of her and DH when the first started seeing eachother and he took her to her prom! THis exact photo had previously hung on the wall in BM's parent's house and irked me when I would pick up SD, now here it is again.

Being the timid little peacekeeper I am I said nothing and never will. Upon further investigation i see the photo of DH with SD and SD's cousin has also migrated from SD's bedroom to the shelf of BM's photos in the living room, right below the one of BM and DH. I did take some pride as I looked around and noticed that EVERY photo of SD or SD and BM together that cover BM's fridge were ALL taken by me and given to BM.

Now, Have I mentioned that BM is in love with my baby? Well, she is. I was so happy when BM was kind and encouraging when we brought BD home 5 mo ago. BM has been very supportive of SD with BD and has been very complementary of how cute she thinks BD is and how much she wants a baby. One night she was over to get SD she was looking as BD and said, "OH, I want a baby." I said oh, you want a baby? and BM said smiling, "no, I want THAT baby!"

So also on BM's fridge is the photo I just gave her of SD and BD on Santa's lap. So this morning I'm realizing, BM now has chosen to display in her home photos of herself with DH, SD and now even my BD with DH, but I'm nowhere to be found! IS that strange to anyone else?

I realize I will always be the one who got DH, but she acts so friendly to me.

THen I'm thinking how strange that BM has not displayed the bith annoucement for BD that I gave her that has four beautiful professional photos of SD and BD together. But of course, it says: Parent's DH and ME. So could it be that BM will not put it out because even though it does not have my pic, it has my name?

Just before Thanksgiving I was talking with BM and mentioned DH's aunt had been over. BM said, "oh I hate her!" I said i hated to hear that and asked why, bm said she just holds on to old grudges. I said Dh's aunt has never said anything bad about BM and asked what the problem is. BM didnt' want to say, so I asked, "it's not because of me is it?" BM said,
"well yeah, because (other aunt) told her I was pregnant with DH's kid and (aunt in question) still gave you his phone number anyway!"

First of all that is not how it happened, and second, Why would she still me mad at Dh's aunt for being the reason DH and I met unless BM is so totally not over DH?!

ANd if she is so NOT over DH, why is she so nice to me?

BM told me when she was down a few weeks ago, "I just wish we could start over. Then we could meet when I was pregnant, we could go shopping and be friends." I told my family it was kinda creepy like she was really saying, "I really like you and wish we could be friends, it's too bad your with my man and I have to kill you."

Okay, let me have it. I would really like some opinions as to wether or not I should be afraid. I have always received such wonderful honest perspectives here before.

DH and I are afraid for SD, but the judge in court made it very clear to us in June that is not our place to police BM and what she does and who she has around sd is none of our business.

Thank you in advace.