It's been quite some time since I've posted. Things have been insanely busy and hectic. Lately the hubby and I get up at 4 in the morning so he can go into work early and grab some overtime. I have to get up with him so that I will have a chance to eat breakfast and all, because once 6:30 comes I go through a whirlwind of chores, of course.

Yes, DH found a pretty great job back in May~ it is so close that he walks to work, the boss is great, there's lots of perks,he loves the work he does....we couldn't ask for much better on that front.

It just drags us down when the wage garnishment is taken out. Both of us hate the thought of BM getting exactly what she's always wanted. They've already given her extra payments to start paying off the arrears, back when support was $100 more than it is now. We have to live with the fact that she will get paid for the time before the paternity results came. All the time after that when DH asked to see SS, and BM would tell him No, or only for a short visit every few months. The time after the custody hearing, when SS was never here for 2 days a week or on the holiday schedule, and BM got away with using any and every excuse in the book. She bitched and yelled that she would get her way with both custody and support, and she has. She's won. She's had her way with us. She gets all this money and got to reduce visitation. I am aghast that this is how things work, but what else can we do? We don't have much fight left in us anymore.

I was recently told that she spent over $230 so she could go see two concerts. Meanwhile,we couldn't get more than a couple articles of school clothing for our daughters, and they need and deserve so much more right now. A couple months back, our washer broke. But we had to make a double support payment because the local DRS suddenly decided to make all payors have that month's support in BY the first of the month. So it doesn't matter when you get paid, if it's not paid by the first, you're automatically in contempt. So they told everyone to pay a lump sum fee or else they'd have a contempt hearing. I hate being threatened like that even WHEN DH is working and paying...it still never seems to be enough. So not only did they take out DH's wages, we also had to pay out of pocket again. We got behind on our bills, I had to wash clothes in the tub (going to a laundromat was out of the question for our family) for several weeks. There were many ordinary household items we couldn't get, and I was filled with bitterness at having to live like that. All DH could do was try to work as much overtime as possible and wait until he got paid again and we were able to catch up a bit.

The most ironic thing is that this past garnishment that was taken out, BM claims that she didn't get it. It wasn't applied to our old arrears either. So where did the money go? Why would they take money away from our kids to go to her kid, but not send it there either? I am still stunned that she would never even CONSIDER handling things out of court with us, but her second ex-husband, she doesn't make him pay through DRS. I know she threatened to before, because he wasn't paying her anything. She was even using some of my husband's support money to let hr 2nd ex husband spend AND pay support to HIS ex-fiancee. But she still doesn't force things on her 2nd ex-husband like she does to us, and he only has one other child.

I used to think that I just hated the way she was being, what she was doing. I now say with complete honesty that I hate her. I hate who she is and I know she won't change. She's told us she's not sorry and doesn't care. She is a complete and total evil dictator, and she's being rewarded. This kills my spirit. I go back and forth between feeling rage and crying my eyes out. I keep hoping she will just disappear, but I know she won't. All I want is for us to have a normal family life again. There is so much we could do right now if this mess weren't standing in our way. I don't know how to deal with the fact that we don't have a choice, and have to know that she has it lorded over us. That she gets to ruin our Standard of Living. That the state backs her up and supports her, but doesn't care one bit about our family or SS.

I also feel strongly about this because I just found out that my ex sister-in-law got herself and her sons evicted because she wasn't aying her rent, even though my brother-in-law pays her over $800 a month in child support, and the rent wasn't that much. Plus she makes a decent income on her own. So again, where does the support money go? This system is a joke to me. All I see is the hurt and damage it causes, and yet the use the slogan "Doing what's best for our children". That is such a presumptious statement. I don't understand how giving a girl who sleeps around an extra support order so that she can spend over $200 on herself in one shot is "best" for the kids. How making a family go with so little money that the daughters can't get a new school wardrobe is "best". How my nephews getting evicted from their home because the mother doesn't HAVE to use the support money for the kids....how is this the best thing for kids?

I feel defeated