We both knew it would happen, BM made the mistake of being a friend first and a mum second to my SD9 and is no suffering the consequences.

The positive thing is BM is communicating very well with my DH, both in regards to positive and negative aspects of SDs behaviour. But BM is starting to struggle, SD is getting very verbal. They are having shouting arguments almost daily, SD point blank ignores her BM, wont get out of bed, generally being difficult, etc. 

This time last year was a difficult period for my DH and I in regards to work. He was working on a temporary contract, all was fine, they were flexible for arrangements for SD.
I on the other hand, work in hospitality, I requested to work less evenings (I had ended up working ONLY evenings, regardless of there never being this agreement) and was told it wasnt possible.
The temporary contract came to an end and they offered a permanent contract to my DH, BUT were not able to be flexible for SD. Given my hours at the time he couldnt take the contract.

The downward spiral of domestic abuse...

As some of you know/remember, I relocated when I moved in with my fiance, so whilst I still have contact with friends back home it was important for me to make new friendships here. It surprised me how much more difficult it can be to actually meet and make friends as an adult. Its more, individuals rather than friendship groups, but anyway I'm getting off topic.

I am one of the few with a better step-scenario. My fiance and the BM were never married, they were dating but not living together when BM found out she was pregnant. BM wanted to abort, my fiance didnt agree with abortion and they then moved in together in attempt to "do the right thing" their relationship died before SD was born, BM then cheated and my fiance kicked her out when SD was newborn. BM tried for custody but didnt succeed due to lack of work and housing, she spent 2 years getting her things in order, took him back to court and gained primary custody when SD was 2.