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Feeling a little sorry for DH and OSS

Redredwine's picture

So, after all the legal hoopla with DH and BM arguing about which high school to send the skids to (his vs hers) when they are done with private elementary school, they are going to BMs HS. Glad there's finally an answer. So are the skids...they are glad there's a resolution.

This week was OSSs events/celebrations at school for all the kids moving on to HS.

Here are the points where it's a little sad:

And the truth comes out.

Redredwine's picture

Not only does BM not trust me, neither does DH.

And I haven't been trying to parent the skids. I also have just been polite and addressed minor things with them. I don't go out of my way to do fun things with them and I let DH parent them. This because BM is insecure about me...she wanted stuff about no stepparent/grandparent having time alone with the skids. And the skids are in middle school/moving on to HS. It's silly.

...and in a blink of an eye it's gone.

Redredwine's picture

Blogged earlier about DH and BS showing a glimmer of maturity. http://www.steptalk.org/node/217397

And just like I said I wouldn't assume it meant things were changing they proved me right.

OMG. Is it that they are men or a divorced dad and teens or that they do zero work at the other parents house?

All four of them dropped a different ball. All four of them cannot manage to take responsibility. And all four of them lack basic respect for others.

Argh!

Nearly fell over twice last night. Fleeting moments of maturity from BS and DH.

Redredwine's picture

DH and BS went out before I got home and got me the cutest little terrarium as a replacement Mother's Day present for the infected outdoor perennial they grabbed at the last second as the original gift. They both apologized for not planning ahead and putting so little effort in the first time. Plus they even bought my favorite cake. I wasn't expecting it at all. I had taken all of the advice from you about not paying any attention to stuff like that and not putting so much effort into all of them. Now, I was very touched but I'm also not stupid.

What do you all do about things that end up at BMs house?

Redredwine's picture

I don't mean kids clothes and lunch boxes. I gave that up a long time ago to DH. Well, except when my lunch box goes missing. What I mean is stuff that I brought into the house after we got married or bought for this house. Things the kids might use like insulated water bottles, carriers/bags, bike locks, etc.

Who are you and what have you done with my DH?

Redredwine's picture

So, it so happened that I got proof again this morning of OSS being on his phone more than he should. He was on it at 11pm last night, from BMs. That's way past his bed time. DH has suggested to BM to put in controls (since she owns the phones they use to text, surf, etc.). But she insists that there's no need for anything.

Before anyone jumps on me, I did not tamper with the phone. OSS did something from the browser to access a site using an account we have. The account happens to send email when you log in from a "unlisted" device.

Tiny vent: Don't touch my &*@#$*^&()* toolbox!

Redredwine's picture

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I had a small toolbox with everything I needed in it. (Literally small enough to be the equivalent of the top bin of a regular toolbox.) I brought it with me when DH and I got married. I put it an easily accessible spot. DH and all the kids took things out, didn't put them back, and put other random things in it.

Okay, ladies and gents, what's BM's angle with this one?

Redredwine's picture

DH and BM had a no-child-support financial agreement where he paid for private school for a number of years. There was a "settlement" amount that at the end of years if the private school payments didn't meet that amount he owed her the difference.

He paid her the difference two weeks ago. It's not a huge check but it's not peanuts. He has a copy of it so we can show he wrote it out. He dropped it off at her office so people saw him. He wrote to his lawyer to let her know.

And will SS get in trouble? I doubt it.

Redredwine's picture

So YSS has not followed what DH told him to do a couple times now with one issue. All that happened this time was DH basically handed him the solution for the latest infraction. Yet I know there's more. YSS is using BM to get him stuff DH has said no to in our house and hiding it.

Then kids are supposed to clean out lunch boxes right away and put them away (in the kitchen).

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