So I finally had a conversation with my SO about what I need in this relationship and what I envision. I do realize he's had zero and I mean zero examples of what a healthy relationship looks like. He's got plenty of childhood trauma that he knows affects him and how he "reacts" to conflict. I don't see it changing immediately overnight because he's spent years "reacting" that way (deflecting, gaslighting and blame) but I am thankful he sees it. 
 

We live in Western NC and as many have seen on the news, it is utter devastation. We are alive and well as are our loved ones and no major damage other than a roof leak and a little flooding in the basement. We are the lucky ones and the few. So many have lost everything including their lives. No one could have ever expected this...not like this. 
 

I'm not even really sure where to begin. I am easily annoyed… Or triggered? My SD7 is sweet, funny, kind intuitive and also spoiled. There are times that she gets quiet usually when we're riding in the car and she stares out the window. I myself am a very introspective, self reflective, quiet person as is my SO. 
However there seems to be this need of my SO to incessantly check on my SD. 
 

My SD just turned 7. We have her 50% of the time. Where we live is to be closer to her so school/schedule etc and mostly dealing with psychotic biomom is made simpler. Bio mom is SD's bestie. They sleep together and do everything together and this child is spoiled spoiled spoiled to the core. Their relationship is not mother daughter. It is the codependent dynamic duo.