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UPDATE to yesterday One hearing continued, a new one arises, and another possibly cancelled...LONG POST

pixiedust10's picture

As you know from previous blogs, we are having a lot of problems with BM and have been attempting custody of FDH's kids

Sad Sad Sad

For seventeen months now we have been fighting her, and the custody hearing was finally scheduled again for next week, but then she filed a report with false abuse charges against FDH and got a TRO/TPO so we are at a really sad, heartbreaking place today...

Sad Sad Sad

The TRO got extended another week. FDH's attorneys notified the court in advance he may not be able to make it to the hearing, and he didn't. Half a day wasted looking at the BM for the first time and seeing her pale upon finally seeing ME and then giving us death glares out of the corners of our eyes. I laid mine on her one time with a hard stare and she blinked first per se. Anyways, I didn't want to have anything to do with her regardless. I got some satisfaction that she was rattled sadly. BM kept trying to approach the bench in between cases, I don't think the judge liked that. Once we realized FDH's attorney couldn't make it, she tried to get the judge to hear the case anyways. The judge said "Ms BM, FDH has counsel and lawyers don't control courts and he has a right to his counsel so no we will not hear the case today but you tell us which day next week is better for you and FDH if you think attorney will be there..."BM was astonished and sputtering LOL. She got her baliff escort out of the courtroom, 15 min later we got ours, and when we got to the main doors to get our phones and keys back, she was still there! So we turned around and waited for the police to get her far away enough we could leave quietly. We could hear her as we were approaching attempting to get an officer (?) to talk to the judge (?) and see if the judge would see her after all the cases were done! (Idiot?!)

Got bad news today...SS10 was taken by skid county family services today after school into state custody while in BM's care! The GAL and both attorneys and the judge for custody had a meeting today and that was decided since dfcs took seventeen months to realize ss's don't belong with BM anymore. We got confirmation SS7 is in the behavioral hospital still as we had heard a few days ago, and once he is released from the hospital he will go to state custody as well to a residential location that is suitable for his behavioral/mood disorders. Sigh. This is almost good as well as bad news as at least they aren't with BM. There are two sets of parents that we know that have offered to take the kids during the dfcs investigation, one might be considered too high conflict since her and BM don't get along and live in the neighborhood. The other is the only family left in the state, and it's FDH's younger brother and wife who are pretty much model citizens (School teachers, grad students). Not sure if that would be a conflict, and they are only apprehensive about putting their name out there because of how BM may behave if she gets visiting rights via phone or in person. IDK I guess it's a long shot.

Because of the kids getting taken, there is a new hearing for FDH and for BM with skid court Monday to discuss the situation. FDH has been told by the attorney to cooperate completely with the dfcs investigation (we would anyways), that he will probably be required due to the completely falsified TPO to take anger management, and get a psych eval. BM will get a psych eval and we are praying now that she doesn't have the kids, she will blow her lid because if I am correct, the CS will now go to the state and not to her...more than likely with this new hearing and the kids being in state custoday the case will be in juvenile court now instead of superior for custody, and may not happen next week anymore and get bumped.

It's heartbreaking. It's so sad, FDH is all over the place. I think he's more numb. I have had to talk to more crying people and want to fall apart myself, but I've got Bios to think about.

Comments

pixiedust10's picture

I've been told by a friend that has a high-conflict custody case with a crazy ex and people on stalk that it's only going to get worse. I'm preparing.

pixiedust10's picture

It's sad that the end result was a child placed in state custody with no family to support him, but maybe that is exactly what he needs right now. He won't be a pawn in the fighting. He won't have to listen to his mother ranting about his
father, etc....

I wish your family the best in all of this, and even though your FDH is going to have to take some classes and such, tell him to go into it with an open mind and open heart. It's not something that is an attack on him, it's to help him so that he can be a better father to his son. It's his shot to get his son back asap.

^^^We are both sort of okay with the kids being away from her, we are just concerned bc you hear of good placement families and then bad placement families. He just wishes he could at least speak to them. He's not spoken to them since 1/2/13. That's what's killing him. He's completely okay with dfcs (finally) doing what they need to do. He understands and is definetly not taking this personally. He's going to do everything they tell him to do to a T, he pretty much does already so it won't be much of an issue.

pixiedust10's picture

I think I didn't clarify maybe, but both SS's are going into custody, the younger one has the behavioral issues. Funny thing is, the less SS7 is around BM, the less episodes he has. And all of the bad ones that she's called the police or he's gone to the hospital for are on HER time. SS10 I'm sure is scared to death as well. I can't imagine what he's thinking.

We are definetly making sure exactly where the CS will be going! That was one of the first things I brought up. WE all know that she's mostly in it because FDH has been her meal ticket since they graduated high school and her family said they were going back to their hometown.

whatwasithinkin's picture

It will take years to repair this damage. I hope your DH always focus's on that. DH and BM here have sd17 so f'd up it is scary. She is so f'd up. Your holding up great kid. Keep paddling.

pixiedust10's picture

Oh I know its going to take forever to repair the damage. It's so sad. FDH loves those kids smuch, one everything as instructed, and this is what happens. I just don't know how it will play out. Bios keep asking where ss's are, I don't know what to say except they are spending more time with mom