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Just need to Vent!!

part-timedad's picture

Okay I need to vent. My three children have made the choice that they dont want to come to my house on my weekend. They are 15 14 and ten and decided that they dont want to come basicly because they dont want to follow the rules and expectations at my our house. What really frustrates me is the fact that apparently they are going to be at my brothers house and called and want me to come visit them there. I think this is just another way to manipulate the situation. Am I being unrealistic by not going to my brothers to see them. My thing is that if they wanted to see me bad enough then they can come to my house and follow the rules and expectations!! Just very aggravated!!! Opinions please

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part-timedad's picture

That would be fine and dandy but what do you do when there mom doesnt make them come and you cant do a damn thing about it.

12yrstepmonster's picture

My DH has the same problems. My SD19 hated coming to our house and made her visitation miserable when here. SS14 is now doing similar things. If I could go back and redo this is what I would suggest:

There would not be a choice in visitation- it is not a kids choice not to see a parent.

Some rules could be bendable, but some wouldn't be.

My SD always said we didn't listen to her, we did- we just didn't do it her way....that wouldn't change.

We would not discuss nor would we discipline or lecture those things we couldn't change- My DH would get disgusted by school performance (or lack of) and speak his mind.

DH would do exactly what you are doing. Why do you want to see me at my brothers and not my house.

I think at times a divorced kid will push everything beyond- at what point will the noncustodial walk away and leave them too.

It's a fine line of wanting our kids happy and saying hey......I'm your parent, get up and over it.