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Normal for SD15?

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Is it normal for a 15 year old to write her name on furniture in the room she shares with my 9 year old granddaughter?  They have a wooden piece that has 4 hooks for hanging jackets or backpacks on, and she took a marker and drew a line down the middle and wrote her name over two of the hooks. Normal? I've already asked her before not to write on the furniture, she's 15, wouldn't she already know not to do this??  Is this something an only child does?  Seems like a spoiled brat who has to have everything to herself. 

HELP!! crazy BM and need advice

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BM’s BF sent me a message a couple days ago, we have spoken casually over the last 2 years that he has been involved with BM, and he just wanted to let us know that they were no longer together, and that BM was having SD14 lie to us about it.  Who knows why she thought we would care, but we don’t.  He said he had been wanting to talk to my SO to clear some stuff up.  Started asking why my SO would try to come after HIS income in court?  He never did, was never brought up.  Said BM told him that’s why SO took her back to court, I explained it was to get more visitation, nothing about child s

2 steps forward and 3 steps back

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DH and SD14 come over to discuss house rules and the possibility of moving back in.  He stays with me when he doesn't have his daughter and with his parents when he does.  More of a DH issue than a SD issue. She shows up in a pair of shorts and her ass is literally hanging out of them. I asked her where the other half of her shorts were... DH just rolls his eyes and says nothing. The next day we had a conversation about it.

Books?

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Anyone have any ideas for good books to read that would help all of us?  I read, Say Goodbye to Crazy, how to get rid of his crazy ex and restore sanity to your life.  It really helped to teach us how to deal with his crazy ex and helped to take her power away. Anyone have any other good books they can recommend? 

Why is it so hard for them to be parents

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Why is it so hard for these DHs to be parents and not friends to their children? They don't seem to be able to make rules and follow through with the consequences. I might understand if they only had them once in a while but when they have 50/50 custody or even every other weekend, these children need a parent, not another friend.