We tried one summer with little to no structured activities for skids and they went crazy since they are so hyperactive and easily bored. After that I told DH he needs to put his kids in structured activities because they are very difficult to deal with. They need to be out of the house as often as possible.
My SD is 27, now, but when she was younger, we did not do long summer visits, they stuck to EOWE. Sometimes, DH would take a few days off of work and SD would stay with us, but that was the extent of it.
DH is home with them during the day, lol. We have been getting them outside and to a water park on the weekends though
I tried to find summer programs to get them out of the house, BUT they were all too expensive to put two kids in. So DH is doing night classes so he can be home during the day, and I take evenings.
My in-laws have skid busy with bible camp. A conservative southern baptist one. The opposite of what skid is used to, a progressive Christian Church/Private School, back in her city. I think it’s funny.
Once that ends, the in-laws will drag her along to church in the evenings, and most likely to their church’s summer beach trip with all the dysfunctional youth.
I’m sure skid will go to the outlet stores a bunch with FIL, where he’ll buy useless crap they don’t need. And he’ll feed skid a steady diet of junk/fast food daily.
My SD14 is with us every other week. He has NOTHING planned for her. I took the day off yesterday and she only poked her head out of her room twice. She's in there 24/7. I asked her to join us in the pool... nope... I asked her to watch a movie with us... nope... She does nothing!! And now she's on this kick where she won't eat anything that the rest of us eat, so she ate nothing but mac and cheese for a week. I feel like I'm neglecting her but it's not my responsibility to buy her special food or cook it either. I think he should be making her get out of the house and volunteer or something.
When I still lived with formerSO and formerSS13 last year, SS was out of school on summer break for one week before I packed up myself and my babyBS and left.
During that time he was either in his room playing video games (screaming and yelling of course), creeping around listening to my phone conversations, terrorising myself or my baby or eating the most rediculous stuff (think an entire jar of banana peppers and 1/2 jar of peanut butter - with his fingers might I add).
He would refuse to eat anything I made, because he "didn't want that". Then, he would call his grandmother (formerSO's mom) and whine for her to go get him some fast food because he was STARVING as I hadn't made aaaaaaanything aaaaaaalllllll day. She would drive 30+ miles round trip to do it!
She even actually tried yelling at ME, "would it kill you to make something he wants?!". Yes, it would, I will not be party to further spoiling. I will NOT be a short order cook when he decides to eat. I make healthy meals at the appropriate time. I will not make a huge breakfast at 2:15pm because he just woke up and would like breakfast. He refused to make anything for himself.
Whew, one week of that was enough to send me down the road; FAST. So glad that isn't my summer this year!
I have no idea if/when SD14 will be with us and I don't care. We've made no plans for her to do anything.
SD12 has many plans with friends and activities - lots of swimming and bike riding and adventures. We've enrolled her in an art camp at the end of the summer for a week.
We do have plans for a local vacation in August for almost a week, and if SD14 doesn't want to come, that's ok. We may invite one of SD12s friends instead (not Troublesome Friend!). It'll be a fun trip and SD12 is exited to go.
Don’t feel like you’re neglecting her, OverZoey, because you’re not. If her basic needs are being met, in spite of her being a hibernating bear of a teen, you’ve done your not-the-parent part.
Preteens and teens can be thankless, soul sucking jerks. It’s times like this, summer break, that I’m lucky enough to be fully disengaged, because sometimes I overhear MIL tell DH about skid copping an attitude or slamming her bedroom door at their house. I spent lots of time with my grandparents in the summer and never in a million years would I have acted-out like that.
Skid12 plays video games allll day and night in his room. He only comes out to eat, or if SO plays catch or basketball with them. Skids depend on SO to entertain them, which is realllly annoying to me. On the one hand, he’s a good dad in that he plays with them. But that shouldn’t be the only reason skid12 comes out of his room. I wish SO made him come out and entertain himself, ride his bike, etc.
Skid8 has friends to play with and goes outside, but thinks SO should take her to the pool every single day. We try to plan stuff for them when they are with us too. Lake, baseball games, camping, etc.
Comments
Being annoying and eating
Being annoying and eating everything in sight!
I made DH put those violent
I made DH put those violent needy attention seeking brats in several and I mean several camps and volunteer activities.
I wish my DH would put his
I wish my DH would put his kid in summer camp or some other activity!
We tried one summer with
We tried one summer with little to no structured activities for skids and they went crazy since they are so hyperactive and easily bored. After that I told DH he needs to put his kids in structured activities because they are very difficult to deal with. They need to be out of the house as often as possible.
Keeping out of my way if he
Keeping out of my way if he has any sense.
My SD is 27, now, but when
My SD is 27, now, but when she was younger, we did not do long summer visits, they stuck to EOWE. Sometimes, DH would take a few days off of work and SD would stay with us, but that was the extent of it.
DH is home with them during
DH is home with them during the day, lol. We have been getting them outside and to a water park on the weekends though
I tried to find summer programs to get them out of the house, BUT they were all too expensive to put two kids in. So DH is doing night classes so he can be home during the day, and I take evenings.
My in-laws have skid busy
My in-laws have skid busy with bible camp. A conservative southern baptist one. The opposite of what skid is used to, a progressive Christian Church/Private School, back in her city. I think it’s funny.
Once that ends, the in-laws will drag her along to church in the evenings, and most likely to their church’s summer beach trip with all the dysfunctional youth.
I’m sure skid will go to the outlet stores a bunch with FIL, where he’ll buy useless crap they don’t need. And he’ll feed skid a steady diet of junk/fast food daily.
All of this brings me great joy. Seriously.
My SD14 is with us every
My SD14 is with us every other week. He has NOTHING planned for her. I took the day off yesterday and she only poked her head out of her room twice. She's in there 24/7. I asked her to join us in the pool... nope... I asked her to watch a movie with us... nope... She does nothing!! And now she's on this kick where she won't eat anything that the rest of us eat, so she ate nothing but mac and cheese for a week. I feel like I'm neglecting her but it's not my responsibility to buy her special food or cook it either. I think he should be making her get out of the house and volunteer or something.
This is my situation. I do
This is my situation. I do nothing. I say nothing. I am 100% disengaged from her and the mess her parents have created.
You'll have to get over the guilt - it's not your fault. You are not going to be able to remedy the situation and that's ok.
Your SD sounds exactly like
Your SD sounds exactly like my SS. You aren't neglecting her though.
Last year..
When I still lived with formerSO and formerSS13 last year, SS was out of school on summer break for one week before I packed up myself and my babyBS and left.
During that time he was either in his room playing video games (screaming and yelling of course), creeping around listening to my phone conversations, terrorising myself or my baby or eating the most rediculous stuff (think an entire jar of banana peppers and 1/2 jar of peanut butter - with his fingers might I add).
He would refuse to eat anything I made, because he "didn't want that". Then, he would call his grandmother (formerSO's mom) and whine for her to go get him some fast food because he was STARVING as I hadn't made aaaaaaanything aaaaaaalllllll day. She would drive 30+ miles round trip to do it!
She even actually tried yelling at ME, "would it kill you to make something he wants?!". Yes, it would, I will not be party to further spoiling. I will NOT be a short order cook when he decides to eat. I make healthy meals at the appropriate time. I will not make a huge breakfast at 2:15pm because he just woke up and would like breakfast. He refused to make anything for himself.
Whew, one week of that was enough to send me down the road; FAST. So glad that isn't my summer this year!
I have no idea if/when SD14
I have no idea if/when SD14 will be with us and I don't care. We've made no plans for her to do anything.
SD12 has many plans with friends and activities - lots of swimming and bike riding and adventures. We've enrolled her in an art camp at the end of the summer for a week.
We do have plans for a local vacation in August for almost a week, and if SD14 doesn't want to come, that's ok. We may invite one of SD12s friends instead (not Troublesome Friend!). It'll be a fun trip and SD12 is exited to go.
Don’t feel like you’re
Don’t feel like you’re neglecting her, OverZoey, because you’re not. If her basic needs are being met, in spite of her being a hibernating bear of a teen, you’ve done your not-the-parent part.
Preteens and teens can be thankless, soul sucking jerks. It’s times like this, summer break, that I’m lucky enough to be fully disengaged, because sometimes I overhear MIL tell DH about skid copping an attitude or slamming her bedroom door at their house. I spent lots of time with my grandparents in the summer and never in a million years would I have acted-out like that.
Sitting in their rooms,
Sitting in their rooms, eating all the food...
Skid12 plays video games allll day and night in his room. He only comes out to eat, or if SO plays catch or basketball with them. Skids depend on SO to entertain them, which is realllly annoying to me. On the one hand, he’s a good dad in that he plays with them. But that shouldn’t be the only reason skid12 comes out of his room. I wish SO made him come out and entertain himself, ride his bike, etc.
Skid8 has friends to play with and goes outside, but thinks SO should take her to the pool every single day. We try to plan stuff for them when they are with us too. Lake, baseball games, camping, etc.