I guess Stepmother talk is taboo on FB...
I was just trying to be supportive....
Okay, I don't have many facebook friends, because quite honestly I am a pretty quiet person, and I don't want people knowing when I eat, sleep and poop! But I don't live in my hometown, and I was in the military, so I thought creating a facebook page would be a great way to get back in touch with people I have met over the years, and for the most part, it has been.
When I first got on facebook, I accepted a lot of friend requests but, I wasn't always sure who they were...so that how I became MM's friend. I don't even know who she is. But tonight she listed a list of things you shouldn't say to Stepmom. The normal stuff, "You know what you signed up for." "You would understand if you had kids." I thought I could relate so I responded with "Only a stepmom could truly understand this!!! I feel ya, girl." and that was it. She unfriended me.
I don't really care that MM unfriended me, hell, I don't even know who she is, but I just thought it was such a shame, because even as strangers, we could have learned something from eachother's stepmom experiences. Guess not!
The way I found out that she unfriended me, is because I sent her a message that I suggested that she read "Stepmonster" to gain a little validation. Oh well, guess I will just turn to you ladies from now on...and my Mom!!! She is the best stepmom in the world and still, my step-sister doesn't get it! My Mother is actually the one that has taught me to NOT try so hard...she has never given up(until recently, after 38 years), and never seen anything positive out of it!!!
So I guess I am really asking, would you have unfriended me for that comment?
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Maybe...but she is the one
Maybe...but she is the one that friend requested me, and this was the first comment I ever made to her. OMG, "I am her Mommy?" Fantasyland! But NOT my fantasy!!!
Sadly not many understand and
Sadly not many understand and even the dearest friends can sometimes say things that they have no idea about.
The fairy tale image of the evil stepmother is very present and the society wants to "defend" those poor children who have to deal with a step mother suddenly.It makes me sick, many times it couldn't be further from the truth for many guilty-disney -parented spoiled divorce kids and for step moms who have to deal with the issues of their entitlements and attitudes every day.But it is better to be quiet- until they maybe become a step parent one day, too.
You should say 'You knew what
You should say 'You knew what you were getting into when you had biological children' - that shuts them up. Or if they ever tell you of a problem, just say 'well you knew what you were getting into when you started working there/shopping there/eating whatever food/etc' - when they protest that they didn't know before hand what would happen, smile
Yeah, lesson learned. She
Yeah, lesson learned. She was someone from my hometown, so I figured we went to school together. It's no loss to me. I was just trying to let her know that there are others out there that understand how she is feeling. Her loss really.
I wouldn't take it personal.
I wouldn't take it personal. It could have just been a "Who is this person? and why is she commenting on my status/photo?". She was probably thinking the same thing you were. It happens to me sometimes. I may send a friend request to someone because of a game, or I think they were the person I sat next to in grade 11 Algebra then realize once they comment that I don't know who they are and unfriend. I trimmed my list to close friends and acquaintances because I thought 300+ was ridiculous and it saved the embarrassment of wondering who they were when they commented or wished me a happy birthday.
I keep my yearbook in my
I keep my yearbook in my office so I can check to see if I know them. If I don't, I ignore it. I really only want people that I know.
Let it go, she probably freaked out because someone understood and she wasn't sure who it was.