Dadeee, I need a favor. LMFAO!!!
Backstory: SS22 "borrowed" $500 dollars from us over a year ago for a washer & dryer. DH and I agreed that lending him the money would be a good way to determine if he was going to be financially responsible. The deal was if he made an effort to pay it off (even $10.00) we would forgive the loan, if not we would not loan him more or co-sign on any loans. He made no attempt to pay whatsoever.
In the meantime SS22 recently has been hitting DH up for new tires and to pay to get his dog fixed.
So tonight DH tells me that SS22 asked him for a favor. For what DH asks. Here it is.....
Wait for it...
A set of drums!!!
Why??? Because he needs a new hobby! Haha.
I know we all love our husbands to death, (why else would we put ourselves in these insane situations) but my strong, very intelligent, soldier (27 years) (only say that to show he has huge leadership abilities), what does he do?
DH tells him to go to the bank and get a loan and DH will sign for him! Are you kidding me? (When i asked Dh about the "no cosign deal, until he paid the debt"', DH said he forgot about that. )My kids are younger so I have always had a hard time giving him crap about his kids, because who knows what kind of crap my kids are going to pull over the years. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I will not be buying or consigning on a loan for a set of drums for a 22 year old, because he is bored! I am so sick and tired
Of putting up with all of this BS because I have no idea what my kids are going to do down the road.
When I told DH that his son needs to grow up and prioritize needs vs. wants, he said, " if your going to gripe every time I tell you something (about my kids) then, I will stop telling you anything about them. I told him, "two can play that game.) although it's true, I really would prefer not to go down that road.
Anyway, I got off on a tangent, feel free to reply to that too.' 
Bottom line: My completely and totally rational, emotionally detached (but tries really hard) DH has agreed to cosign for a set of drums for his 22 year old son.
One last thing, SS22 asked him, " So you expect me to go talk to someone at the bank? I am guessing that DH will be making a visit to SS22s bank soon. :sick:
Really feeling like getting a really good drum beat going on my DHs ass right now!!!
I
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eww on all that but help him
eww on all that but help him get the dog neutered for the dogs sake. lol
I feel your pain. I really
I feel your pain. I really do!
We had a request yesterday to pay for a "schoolies" ( end of secondary school) trip to Bali for ss171/2 AND HIS GIRLFRIEND :jawdrop:
Needless to say the answer was no.
I often wonder if they're serious or looking for dad to say no so that they have an excuse to blank him.
To his credit my fdh told him
"If miss Flo and I are going to pay for a holiday, we're going to be the ones going on holiday."
Yes, he then tormented himself about using the " n" word (these kids rarely hear the word no). But he said it!!!!
We can now expect Mr 17/12 to ignore his dad till he next needs the bank to open.
Geez, my jaw dropped reading
Geez, my jaw dropped reading your post. DH should have told SS to go to the bank to open a savings account and making weekly deposits until he has enough money to buy drum set with his savings. Here's hoping the bank won't loan the money for drums. Ugh
Well, how anyone could
Well, how anyone could "forget" that they had loaned someone $500 and it hadn't been paid back is beyond me,
.
Your dh did what they all do when they know they and their kids are in the wrong. He attacked you.
The problem here is this will get bigger and bigger, more and more money will be borrowed. Your dh has started something here. Hope you can afford it.
Oh I have no doubt he didn't
Oh I have no doubt he didn't "forget" about the loan or the fact that he said if that loan didn't get paid back he would not cosign on a loan for him. His guilt overrode his common sense. He even said, "We'll I consigned for SD24". Yeah DH, but she had proved herself to be financially responsible when you did that.
Your right about going on the attack when they know their kids are wrong. Not the first time that has happened here.
Oh I agree, in fact it was so
Oh I agree, in fact it was so over the top ridiculous that I thought DH was making it up just to mess with me. When I realized he wasn't joking, I got a little mad and told him his son needs to grow up. That's when he tried to defend him. The defensiveness and denial when it comes to these kids is crazy.
I am right there with you, it
I am right there with you, it is ridiculous how defensive it gets. Don't want them mad at him, but if we are unhappy, so what?! Do you get treated like they deserve it and you don't? Let's take out yet another loan so they can have what they want... they deserve it. We deserve debt, we deserve lies... well, that's where I'm at anyway. Beyond crazy... insanity. My best wishes to you oilandwater. I'm in the same boat!
A loan for drums...Loans are
A loan for drums...Loans are for houses, college and cars...NOT Drums. Sorry but your husband is an idiot...The interest on that would be more than the principal of the loan over the life of the loan.
Separate finances now, because it sounds like your husband is okay with living paycheck to paycheck if he is giving that kind of financial advice.
Oh I totally agree, loans are
Oh I totally agree, loans are for needs for the most part. I would never cosign for a loan for a set of drums! DH thinks his kid needs to establish some credit by taking out a loan and paying it back. Nice thought, but SS22 will not pay it back. He knows we have the money so he will just not pay the loan and DH will end up paying it off.
We don't live paycheck to paycheck, that's the weird thing about this. DH would never take out a loan to buy himself something so silly. He just has no ability to tell his kids no. He wants to be supportive in everything they do, even when he knows they are doing stupid shit. He is paralyzed be the fear that his kids might get mad at him and not talk to him.
DH would probably be onboard
DH would probably be onboard with getting you that piano if you made him feel like he owes it to you.
Yea, please explain that
Yea, please explain that mindset of owing it... why doesn't he owe you (at least honesty and respect)? I guess we have to look out for ourselves if our beloved husbands don't feel that they should.
Haha. That is what I told DH.
Haha. That is what I told DH. Here's the kicker though he already had a guitar and lost interest in it and sold it. My prediction is, he will get the drums, DH will end up paying for the loan and SS22 will sell the drums and keep the cash. DH will make up some lame excuse why SS needs the money so he won't go after him for it.
As for college, SS failed his classes his very first semester and dropped out. Smart kid but wouldn't go to class or complete the work. DH paid for SD24s college and is now paying for SD18s college. I think DH feels guilty about paying for the girls and he feels like he owes SS something. He had the same opportunity to go to college as the girls he just didn't want to put in the effort.
I stopped this I owe my kids
I stopped this I owe my kids everything I have for now and forever attitude, but ours were all adults, so a bit different to you. But when his daughter wanted a new car which we couldn't afford, I said no way, I'm driving an old car, any new car we buy will be mine. We of course argued as dh spent weeks telling me how she was his daughter. Hardly my fault :). Anyway I saw a good small used car still under factory warranty in the paper for $3,500. I said I would pay for that. Dh says that's not the car she wants, she wants a brand new Mitsubishi colt. I didn't even answer him. Not one word. A couple of days later he comes back with, okay so are you happy to give her $3500 towards a car. By then I was so pissed off about his earlier remark about her wanting a specific car I was over it and didn't want to give the greedy cow anything and I was over dh encouraging her greed. My daughter was doing up the backyard in her new home, a home she and her husband built without any cash from us. As luck would have it, the concrete paving was $3500. I told dh, yes I will agree to give her $3500, but this is over now. If your kids get a penny, my kids get a penny. If your daughter gets this money for her car, my daughter gets the same amount for her landscaping. He was so relieved to be getting the money for his daughter he couldn't agree fast enough. I did think that odd, but no matter. All he was worried about was how fast I'd get the money out the bank for his princess. I wish I had a video of him when he saw the following months bank statement and there was a $7000 withdrawal. He was in shock when he asked what that $7000 was. I told him $3500 for your daughter $3500 for mine. I told you, from now on yours get a penny, them mine do to. His response. I thought you were joking. From that time on, he hasn't handed out any cash to his kids.
We have 6 kids between us, if we gave them each $3500 that would be $21,000. Keep that up and we'd soon be in debt ourselves. Ask your dh if you co signed or loaned all the kids cash they never paid back how long before you two end up in financial distress.
I would love to be a fly on
I would love to be a fly on the wall when they go into a bank asking for a loan for a drum set, for a hobby, no doubt!
What in the hell is wrong with your DH?
Notasm, listen to this
Notasm, listen to this one...my SS called his father this morning and asked if we'd co-sign for a d*mn house :jawdrop: Needless to say the answer was not just no, but h*ll no. I about fall off my chair when DH told me what SS said SS's credit rating score was. Where do these adult children get these crazy ideas!?!
They do not care. They
They do not care. They really do not. My DH's kids would not care if he worked 1000 hours a week. They have no concern for him and feel his money is theirs.
My stepsister is 35 years old and my stepmother pays a lot of her bills, even though her (stepsister's) husband makes 6 figures a year. My dad has never said a word, but my stepmom just lost her job. She cannot afford to pay for her daughter's things anymore, and yet my stepsister is still asking for and taking money. My dad did not even tell me-I was over their house and saw the complete lack of concern. So, now we have my retired dad and unemployed stepmom, and her daughter is still taking from the "money tree." It is disgusting. I don't know what it will take for my stepmom to say no to her. My dad is a nice guy, but he is not happy. He told me he never thought he would be dealing with this.
OMG. I don't understand it,
OMG. :jawdrop: I don't understand it, either. I would never have the nerve.
He is going to cosign for
He is going to cosign for drums????? I have no words. However, my MIL would think this is great because it is "showing a parent's love." She is deluded....but anyway...
Before I married DH, I told him that we are not moving the adult skids in-ever. Not only are they nasty, we live in a one bedroom home. Nor are we supporting them. They and MIL consider me evil for this, but I am so glad I did. DH's daughter wanted him to cosign for a 15K car-when she refuses to work full-time, makes 8 bucks an hour, at 15-20 hours a week. And treats DH terribly. She showed up on our doorstep late one night demanding to move in. DH told her no-both times. The moving in was harder for him, because she flipped out, but he knows she cannot possibly come here. His son wanted 2K worth of computer equipment for Christmas. DH sent him a $50 gift card, which is also something we agreed on. That is plenty, especially for 3 of them. DH does NOT make a lot of money-they just think he is a money tree.
I am so tired of these adults thinking they can just have their parents' money. I have student loans-never would have asked my dad to help me out. And I am a product of divorced parents. Sick of that excuse too. Between the 3 of DH's kids, the stuff they ask for and think they should have is so over the top. I don't ask my parents for anything.
The set of drums, however, is just awful. These "kids" need to grow up.