Why Biobitch what BIG BALLS you have! The better to run your household with my dear....

I’ve got one for you about schedule changing! Biomom e-mails on Wednesday to say that SD wont be over at 5:00pm this Friday (the court ordered time) b/c she has signed her up to participate in some event that isn’t over until 9:00pm…well when she finally brought her to the house at 10:00pm Friday night she tells my husband that her Saturday morning indoor soccer game is at 9:50am instead of 8:00am…well he had to work Sat morning and I have a standing hair appointment on Saturday’s at 9:00…now it wouldn’t have been a problem to call my hair dresser and say “I’ll be 15-30 mins late” IF she had to be there at 8:00am like we thought but at 10 at night you tell us that the time has been pushed back almost two hours and want to BITCH at my husband when he tells her, “well she’s not going b/c I have to go into work” do you know she had the NERVE to ask him “why can’t Nise take her” WTF?! How dare you ask why I cannot take her! I am not a blip in your radar when you are signing her up for shit on our weekends w/o consulting me or my husband so why do you see me as an “asset” now?! So then he says “well Nise has something to do and you why did you wait until 10 at night to tell me this” to which she says “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT FUCKING TIME I TELL YOU” So he said, “look, you don’t run my house….either you can come pick her up and take her or she’s not going…so she said “well is there going to be someone at your house when I drop her back off?” and he said “yeah, I’ll make sure someone is here” Do you know what this BITCH had the nerve to say!!! “Well why cant you have whoever is going to be there for me to drop her off to just take her!” CONTROLLING BITCH!!! So my husband said, “you know what, never mind don’t even worry about it BECAUSE SHE IS NOT GOING!” Can you believe her nerve?! uuuuuggggggghhhhh!!!!

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Woooooah Nise, I can see you're really upset! Breathe, hun! Come over to my place and we can sip some margaritas But seriously, there is opportunity for a good lesson to be learned from this, and possibly even a good parenting conversation to come out of it. Everyone should be on the same page when it coes to SD's schedule. Maybe you could have DH address this with BM and include that he wants to avoid this type of problem in the future by keeping communication open and instituting a minimum window of time to inform the other parent of schedule changes...?

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Yep

We always make sure to not sign stepson up for anything that occurs on biomom's time unless we clear it with her first. This just happened with a basketball clinic recently. With soccer both us and biomom know that soccer is stepson's favorite sport and he will be signing up no matter what. We both try to get him there but yes if there is a change, it needs to be mentioned right away. Maybe if sd doesn't go to the game this time, the next time there is a schedule change, she will tell you sooner.
If your husband offered to let her pick her up and then she still started crap, it sounds like she didn't want to take her in the first place.
I don't know what to say about that!

Dawn

It would be great if we

It would be great if we could do that…however I don’t see that happening. She is instant that is THE ONLY one to make decisions…period! If it wasn’t for the fact that my husband took HER to court to prove paternity and get visitation rights, she wouldn’t allow him in her life at all…same woman who checked into the hospital under an assumed name to have SD so he couldn’t be there for the birth, same woman who called the gymnastics class my husband and I signed her up for and threaten to sue the owner if he allowed SD to participate (mind you she was already a ¼ of the way through the class when the owner came and took her off the balance beam) b/c she was under doctor’s orders (first we’d heard about it!) not to have physical activity as a result of a car accident that had happened over a yr. prior….I could go on and on but I wont…basically, I don’t think that talking to her is going to fix it…it is just who she is…I am taking that deep breath now (SMILE) it does really tick me off….

Make a GREAT Day!

Oh, wow, Nise

She really doesn't want that child to have anything to do with her father. Sad!
I guess you can hope that things will get better over time and do the best you can until then.
Hang in there!

Dawn

We had this issue too..

We had a similar issue too.

What happened was that BM signed SS up for soccer. At the time, our current schedule was Thursday morning through Saturday noon with SS. Soccer practice was scheduled for Tues and Thurs, with games on Sats. BM just decided and assumed, without ever consulting us about it, that she was going to drop SS off with us Thurs morning, then she assumed that she would pick up SS on Friday evenings. And that would leave us with a whole whopping day with SS... mind you, she had been repeatedly trying to 'cut our time in half' at every and any possible way she could for months- literally. This was just another attempt as trying to do so again.

Well, to make a long story short, I had the opposite problem. I was available and willing to take SS to events that he needed to be at, but BM flat out would REFUSE to let me, if DH mentioned it to her. So, basically, what we needed up doing was finally, when BM gave us SS schedule or information like this... if we didn't know already, because usually we were the ones to sign him up for stuff... he would just let her know, it's taken care of. He didn't give her any information on who EXACTLY was taking SS, but the point was that SS was going to be there- it's taken care of. And he left it at that with her, he didn't fail into her bait. At first, she would be furious if she saw me, and jealous at the fact that I was sooo involved.

But, when she did make plans on our time, and I had other plans, we never let her know that, instead, we solved the problem without her. We didn't let her know, because that's the fuel she was waiting for... so, we just said, Okay... thanks for the info. And we ended up making some other arrangements with a team mate or friend, or changing our plans.

Oh, and we also had it stipulated in our mediation report that she had to give us written 24 hours notice because we were having this same issue as you now, drop the info as if..."oh, by the way..." at 10 o'clock at night... excuse me? So, might be something to look into. She has to notify you 24 hours in advance of schedule changes... so if the coach notifies her the game time has changed... she has to notify you immediately! Not wait until 10pm night before. That's not exceptable for us. We now don't have those problems anymore, and she has learned that our time is our time- not hers to plan for us.

I'm very proud of your dh for setting her straight!!

That is very hard for fathers to do that when bm's are impossible to work with like that. Give your dh a pat on the back for putting it in her face..."you don't run my house.." awesome!

She is irrational, and whatever you do to try to be cooperative, rational, and compassionate, she is going to be just resistant, uncooperative, irrational, and display zero compassion for all invovled. That is what self-centered people do, and she could care less about what is in the best interest of her child, she is only concerned about herself.

Oh..and fyi...yes it does matter what time she tells you guys information...if it is at 10 p.m. guess what? too late...she doesn't go. And if you can't put Nise on the cell phone as a call list (assuming it is the same sd) then don't expect that Nise is going to be available as a taxi driver for your kid!

My best to you and your dh...

Same thing here

We had the same thing happen here. BM told skids I'd never be anything to them but their father's wife. But when she wanted to send them to us for the entire summer, she couldn't understand why I wouldn't be available to watch them when my husband goes on 24 hour shifts (he's a firefighter) Can't have it both ways, ladies. If I don't have a role, I'm certainly not going to step up to the plate when it serves YOUR purpose!

Good for you and your DH!

Yelling that....

it doesn't matter what fucking time she says? Oh, hell no. Even if she is mad about the issue, there is no need for that kind of disrespect. The way she did things was rude, and I do wonder how the SD felt, but her mom could have had more common courtesy in this situation. Did she know that you usually have hair appointments at that time? Even if she didn't/couldn't stick to the schedule, there's always the phone or other ways of communicating! Deep breaths dear!