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Advice please?!

Newbie2's picture

Submitted by Newbie2 on Sat, 01/01/2011 - 8:19am

I feel very immature for saying this but Im hoping someone can relate and give me a piece of advice or support. I have a sweet SD5 but when she visits, all she talks about is her BM and its driving me nuts. The girl is adorable and cute, but I can't stand to be around her when every other sentence relates to her mother. I have been good and just bearing down my teeth and listening to her talk about her mother she adores so much. But I hate the fact that I have to listen to it EVERY weekend....it's making her visits very difficult to enjoy. Her BM is a huge pain in my A** already, if you read my other blog you could understand how. I hate HATE having to act like I agree with every cute comment she makes about her BM. IS there any way around this? Or do I seriously have to put up with this??!! its a nightmare for me. Here is an example where I knew this was going to drive me nuts...

It was CHRISTMAS and my bf, my son, and SD5 all went to MY grandparents for christmas lunch. While I'm conversing with my grandmother about school, job, etc my SD5 interrupts to tell us in her sweet high pitched girly voice "Umm my MOM is going to school too and she is REALLY smart. She is BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH". Then later on in my conversation while I'm talking about going to church she interrupts, "My MOM and I go to church at blah blah blah blah blah". Also, when she opened up on of her gifts we got her she was SO excited but had to add "Im going to take this home so mom can see and we will both have newborn babies" (her BM just had a baby). ANOTHER time, I had baked chicken & made mac'n cheese (her favorite). Well at the end of making it all I realized I forgot to prepare any veggies for SD5. I'm trying to be better at taking care of her health & teaching her good habits. So quickly I threw a can of green beans in the microwave. Well anyways, I made her a plate and she when she began eating she said "This is good. but my mom's green beans are better." AH! All I could do is laugh about it and brush it off.......but please tell me there is a light at the end of the tunnel!? I could really use some uplifting advice lol thanks for reading!

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RaeRae's picture

Submitted by RaeRae on Sat, 01/01/2011 - 9:35am

I totally feel you... SD9 likes to talk about her mom a lot too, but it's not always positive. Most girls go through a stage where they idolize their mothers... they also go through (and usually stick with) the 'crush on daddy' stage (not in a sick way, but a cute way... boys do it with mom's too).

As she gets older, she will get out of the God-mommy stage. Like I said, SD9 although she loves her mom, and it drives me crazy to hear her talk about her so much, she doesn't always speak so positive. (Check out some of my previous blogs, and you'll see what I'm talking about). She loves me, too. She doesn't say it, but she shows it in her actions. She wants me to hug and kiss her stuffed animal she sleeps with before bed. She cuddles with me on the couch. She yells for me when she's scared... when she had to get blood drawn and was terrified, she screamed "RaeRae Daddy Mommy!!!!" when I was the only one there... she included me in her 'persons of comfort'.

I try to change the subject when she talks about mommy too much. When she compares meals, I just tell her that this is the way I make it... and add, you like it, don't you? Because she always eats it up. I let her help me in the kitchen, so we can make it 'our' special way. Not like mine, not like mama's, but OUR way. She enjoys it.

Good luck, and as with other things, this too shall pass Wink

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Sat, 01/01/2011 - 9:59am

Eventually it does stop. I just learned to continually change the conversation as soon as the first two words came out of their mouth. Eventually they get the hint. Now it doesn't happen as often thankfully....

Newbie2's picture

Submitted by Newbie2 on Sat, 01/01/2011 - 10:48am

Thanks all for the support/advice...it helps a lot! Plus the BM calls everyday that she is with us....do you think that's reasonable or just making it harder for SD to live a day without her? She is only gone two days at a time with us, the max. Its really annoying for me because the BM is very demanding when she says "have her call me please" but the BM can't wait 15 minutes. For example, I picked up SD from school on a friday (she stays with us friday-sunday), so I had just picked her up and when we got home she was about to greet her dad but the stupid BM is so darn selfish she had to talk to her daughter before anything! AAH! I'm glad the daughter has a loving mother but I feel like she wants too much control when SD is with us.

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

Submitted by Butterflykisses... on Sat, 01/01/2011 - 11:05am

I go through this as well. Does it get to me? Yes. I can't let it get to me to the point of cracking though. The girl, in all defense, is a bit homesick so her words are coming out as "good memories", believe it or not. My advice is just to ignore it, stop doing things for her, or get your BF to do it.

Other than that, she will grow out of it in a few years.

Both boys and girls at this age do such because they are "away" from their "home."

bruisedpeach's picture

Submitted by bruisedpeach on Sat, 01/01/2011 - 5:04pm

omg. i have just realised that my sd9 is crushing on his mom. this explains so much. the sun COULD NOT shine any brighter out of her ass and he is uber defenso. creepy.