My kids are better than yours??

So my husband admitted that he treats my son differently than he does his two sons! I knew this all along, and I even asked him on numerous occasions if it was because we had my son 90% of the time as opposed to having his kids maybe 5 times a year.I asked him if he felt guilty for having to step up and be my sons father when he can't really be his kids dad. His answer of course was always "no when I married you I knew ya'll where a packaged deal" etc.... As soon as we started living together I automatically spotted the difference and tried to point it out to him. It would get so bad that my at the time 3 year old would be in tears telling me that my husband hated him. I threatened to leave on so many occasions, it was a once a week thing for us. FINALLY after a year he admits he treats his different. I know that the reason he "spoils" his kids is bc he feels guilty about not seeing them and getting to really be a part of their lives. The way I look at things is like this:

*I will never expect him to love my son the way he loves his, bc it's not possible. I know I could never love another woman's child the way I do my own. But I do expect him to treat my son fairly, I expect for him to not scream and yell or spank my son when he won't say anything to his own. Who in my opinion are FAR worse than my child has ever had time to be. For example his youngest is 3 the last time we were home he was hitting my dads 2011 Camero with a stick my DH said nothing to him after 3 different people had to tell the little boy to stop. I finally walked over there and took the stick away, if it had been my son he would've jerked him up and spanked him. The first time I met his now 6 year old he was four at the time he told me he was going to kill myself and my son with a gun while we slept. The child sees a psychologist at 6 years old!!! Don't get me wrong my son can be a little monster but these kids throw things, bang their heads on the ground, throw temper tantrums, scream at us, tell us we hate him, etc...

*I see my step children so rarely they don't understand what I am, to them I'm just a grown up always around when they see daddy. My son on the other hand lives with me and DH. Now that our daughter has been I'm terrified that my DH will treat her better than my son. I love them both the same they're both MY children. I feel it's only far for my son to have the same as all the other children, it's only far. I don't treat his children any differently than my own, I don not love them the same to be honest I don't really like them (they're odd). But still at the end of the day I treat all four children the same.

*Has anybody else gone through this, their DH treating your biological children differently than his own?

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First off.....stop letting

First off.....stop letting him spank your son. You know he isn't being fair and rational and disciplining out of love.....so why do you continue to let him hit your child to vent his frustrations?

Sounds to me like he is bullying your son, and you've just allowed it. You need to start handling all discipline for your son and don't leave him alone with your husband. What are you waiting for? For him to kill your kid in anger?

First off let me say he has

First off let me say he has stopped spanking my son!!! My son loves my DH their hasn't been any form of abuse I apologies if that's how it came across. The point I was trying to make is that their is a obvious difference in the way he treats my son compared to the way he treats his. Fortunately for me he's admitted that he does treat them differently and he's trying to change that. I now DO handle EVERY form of discipline when it comes to MY son!!!

Thank you for clarifying

Thank you for clarifying that. I hope I didn't come off as harsh.... But when you wrote about how if BS had been the one poking the car the the stick that dh would have grabbed him up and spanked him all I could picture was my little 4 yr old BS in that situation and it sounded violent.

I just get so sick when I read almost everyday in the news about some woman who let the new man in her life discipline/abuse her kids and the kid ends up brain dead or really dead.

Thank you for clarifying

I just get so sick when I read almost everyday in the news about some woman who let the new man in her life discipline/abuse her kids and the kid ends up brain dead or really dead.

I had a similar situation

I had a similar situation with my DH and my son versus the skids. Although, my DH never spanked my son and the skids were well behaved and he definitely was a strict enough parent.

He felt like I was too lenient with my son and he had to step in to be the disciplinarian. That, of course, really damaged his relationship with my son. Of course, I allowed it, too. He also admitted that he wanted to make sure that his own kids didn't get the impression that they had been replaced by my son since he lived with us 100% of the time with no biofather involvement.

They are finally starting to mend their relationship with each other now that my son is an adult and not living in the house anymore.

Yes roughly 5 times a year DH

Yes roughly 5 times a year DH is in the military. My son lives with us he stays with his dad during the summer and on certain holidays. My son is NEVER with us when we have his children. We ALWAYS go home (SC) to get his kids bc he got royally screwed and there is no parenting plan so the "monster" denies us his children every time we want them, only giving them to us when it's suits for her. We also according to her can't leave the state with them. He has been treating my son differently than his own since we moved to a different state, now he's admitted it and I'm hoping there is some change in his actions. If not there will be a change in my last name }:)

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