I just had to share this. An outtake of the things we go through via txt message.
The monster.vs.DH

M: Are you coming home for fathers day weekend?

DH: Idk I think it's only a 3 day.

M: You should come home.

DH: It's expensive to come home for only 3 days, I doubt we'll have the money.

M: All you need is gas money!?!

DH: Gas money 200$, food 100$, pull ups 10$, miscellaneous 50$ it cost me at least 360-400$ just to come home for 3 days. We don't have that kind of money. <-(You get the majority of his paycheck)

M: Just buy a box of cereal and feed it to them while you have them. <-(OMFG are you stupid?)

~

M: When are you taking block leave?

DH: Idk they're letting us take it in the middle of June I think.

M: Well if you want the kids then you're going to have to take them in July <-(He's in the military, we don't tell them we're doing ANYTHING they tell us. She knows this they were married for 4 years she knows how it works.)

DH: When are you taking your vacation? I assume July.

M: That's the plan

DH: Well I'll check with the CO tomorrow and see but you can still send them here in July.

M: Who would watch them?

DH: Me

M: How would you get them, I can't bring them to you. <-(She's spending her two week vacation in Florida without her kids, you have to go through our city to get to Florida. Why can't she drop them off on the way?)

I'll post more as they come these are just my most recent favorites. How insane can some women be?