When Husband and his son moved in. How do I get over the hurt?
I met my DH in Feb. of 2009. I had my own place 3 bedroom 1 bathroom house. He stayed a couple of nights and would go back home to his families house since he just moved back from New York. In March of 2009 I met his son who just turned 2 in 2010. My Dh ad his son started staying with me in April. In my house, in the first bedroom I had it step up as a childs room, crib, bresser, changing table, extra bed. My DH took his son and stayed out on the living room floor. In May my lease was up and we moved to a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment. From May till September my DH slept in my bed with his son, while I slept on the floor next to them. NOw at the time my DH didnt have anything, no job, no car, nothing. I has the one paying the rent and the bills. We mhad a crib and everything yet my DH refused to put his son in the crib. Finally I said in September its me in the bed or your gone. To this day, it still bugs me that my step son and his father made me sleep on the floor. I dont know how to get over it. yes DH has said sorry, but it still eats at me. How do I get over it?
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You can't go back and change
You can't go back and change the past. You choose not to do anything about him having you sleep on the floor at the time. I know you said he made you but you had to have done it willingly because it was your house and bed. I would have put both of them out on their ear if I was ever put in that position. You may never get over it and just to let you know something. IMO you let you H treat you poorly from day one. I don't know if this helps but you are going to have to just put it behind you if you want to continue this relationship. No one has the power to change the past. You do have the power to let him know you expect him to treat you like an adult human being with the respect a wife deserves. Sorry you had to go through this.
Wow, that must be a tough
Wow, that must be a tough one to swallow. Ok, your probably not going to like hearing this but give it a try. He didn't make you sleep on the floor, he didn't tie you up and force you to sleep there did he? If he did than you should get rid of him but if not remember that you chose for whatever reason to do this. I think your really mad at yourself for letting it happen but it feels better to be mad at him. I'm guessing you want him to hurt as much as you are hurting but it will end the relationship because there will never be enough hurt inflicted on him if you don't let it go. If you want to get over this try looking at it in a new way. Chalk it up to one of those stupid things we do for love. You are wiser now and more secure in the relationship. It was dumb but we do alot of dumb things in the name of love. Promise yourself you will never do anything like this again and let it go. Also what if the situation was reversed and you had a child and he slept on the floor? Would he be this upset for this long? Wishing you the best of luck on this, I know it must be hard.
Yes it's really messed up
Yes it's really messed up that he did that... he screwed up big time. But there is nothing that you can fix about that situation at this point. You are now in the bed, SS is in the crib, you have gotten a resolution. You are mad because you don't understand WHY it happend, and probably more mad because you allowed yourself to be treated this way for all those months. You finally put your foot down, which is great. Now you have to forgive him and yourself, and apply your knowledge to future situations. Nobody can change what happened, harboring resentment over it is going to taint your relationship.
What on earth was your DH's
What on earth was your DH's reasoning for this? How long have you been married?
And while I understand you're still hurting over it, it wasn't your SS's doing. He's 2. This was all your husband.
Forgive and forget. The
Forgive and forget. The resinment will build up inside you until you explode with it.
If you continue to hold this inside and let it eat at you, your relationship is doomed.
Trust me, I'm going through the samething. (The resinment part not the sleeping on the floor)
HeavenLeigh
****"She had his past. I have his future." The Lovely Belleboudeuse****
I wish I could help, but I
I wish I could help, but I can't. I would be resentful as well. Has it changed? Does he have a job? What are the circumstances now?