Hi everyone! I haven't been here in a few months. My husband's daughter, age 12, hasn't been coming over during his weekends. Funny how that works, huh? His PITA daughter out of the picture = me happy as a lark.

Anyway, we got into a bit of an argument this morning and I cannot believe 1) his selective memory and 2) the "memories" he created in his imagination.

Do any of your SOs do this? It's maddening.

We have got some serious revision of history going on and I came here to check my old posts. Old e-mails were also great reminders that I am not crazy, the girl actually said/did the following:

1. Threw a tantrum when she found out her father was dating me.
2. Threw a tantrum when she thought her mom was dating someone.
3. Refused to have any kind of contact at all with her father when he moved in with me.
4. Cried and wailed and made a huge scene when her mom and dad started making her visit him.
5. Spent the entire time at our house chatting with her mom on her ipad until her mom got her a phone and then she spent the whole time texting her mom.
6. Used church as an excuse as to why she didn't want to stay with him anymore even after he asked her if she could maybe get by with going to church every other Sunday with her mom (oh yeah, and every single Wednesday night, plus who knows how many other nights per week for "special activities").
7. Was quoted saying how much she disliked me and how she didn't want anything to do with her dad as long as he was with me.
8. Was quoted saying she did not like the person her dad had become (ie, a happy man living a fulfilling life with a partner he doesn't hate).

There is more, but I think that paints a pretty good picture of what we have all had to deal with when she was coming over to our house.

Here is his explanation for why she doesn't come over anymore: She realizes that her mother is unable to detach herself from her children and that it is worse with her than it is with her brother. She realized that BM started the most drama with DH right before kid visits (and sometimes for several days afterwards) and that most of it was centered around her, not her brother. She realized that everything is more peaceful when she stays by her mother's side (I've mentioned before that BM treats this girl like her life partner, the girl is BM's mini-wife). She figured this would make life smoother for all of us.

How insightful for a 12 year old! Of course we shouldn't listen to the actual words that came out of her mouth. The story DH tells himself makes him feel so much better about the situation than acknowledging the truth.