^^^^^Very true! I know I did!!! I saw through SD like she was bathing in Windex...DH was totally clueless. He sees it clearly now and I sit back and say I told you so in my head. No need to rub salt in his open wounds.

Even SD's grandfather said "she'll likely be pregnant or have some sexually transmitted infection by the age of 15". DH said "I doubt it'll be THAT long". Sad, but true

~Mel

Unfortunately, SD14 gets it from all over the place, except DH and I. His family (even though she never calls) still sends her money for birthday gifts and takes her out to dinners/fun places. Her mother and her family still dote on her no matter what she does. The only 2 putting our feet down with her is DH and I.

~Mel

I totally understand why you left. When SD was 12 and DH and I had been dating for about 6 mos or so, she went to him bawling, saying she wanted to call a "family meeting" with him and BM. Against my advice, he went. They both manipulated him so badly! SD cried that she didn't like when he showed me ANY type of affection in front of her, it made her uncomfortable that we'd sit together at dinner, hold hands or kiss each other goodbye...so he actually told me the following day "I think we should cool it in front of SD for a little while because she's REALLY uncomfortable with us". And at that moment, I told him that I was very happy that he, his ex wife and his kid all determined what was best for OUR relationship; however, I was not in agreement. If we had to change anything about us just because of her, he needed to find someone else that would cater to the wants and desires of a little girl because frankly, I am not willing to do so!

I walked out. Didn't answer his calls, texts, emails, pleas. He went straight over to his ex's home, laid out the law saying they would no longer be in control of his life and rule him or his relationship. He sent me an email detailing what was said and done and then, and only then, did I return.

She was just like yours - totally glued to him. She'd follow him to the bathroom! Hold his hand in a lover's handhold, fingers interlaced, tried spooning with him on the floor during movie time! They'd set up an apartment and had lived together for a year (alternating DAYS, not weeks, with mom who lived a few blocks away in their family home) so she pretty much thought she was his mini-wife. He allowed her to help pick furniture, shower curtains, dishes. She helped him cook and clean. She went everywhere with him. Then I came into the picture and she wasn't the center of his world anymore and she couldn't stand it! Was sugary sweet to me to my face, but behind my back, OMG. Lied, lied lied. Disgusting.

That was just the tip of the iceberg with her. She continued to try and manipulate daddy's feelings and said she refused to come over any more if we had any type of sexual relations while she was at our home. It's not like she could see or hear anything! We always made sure she was asleep and we aren't loud! It was crazy. She pulled him aside and said "If you and Mel don't stop having sex when I'm at your house, I'll never come over again". So he looked her square in the eye and said "Sexual activity is part of any healthy relationship and I don't intend to ever stop, especially because you, a CHILD, told me I had to in my own home. I'm the adult here. You're unaffected by this. Go pack your bags if you want to leave". Her eyes got as big as baseballs and she was like "What?" Again, dadddddddy wasn't OBEYING HER, so she threw a shit fit.

He was so terrified of this little girl and her mother in the beginning. You could clearly tell who wore the pants in their family. It was daughter, then mother and poor old daddy just did as he was told and went to work. Mother never worked, daughter got anything and everything she ever asked for. It was totally and utterly disgusting how these two ruled him.

If he hadn't put his foot down with the both of them, I never would've returned. We got married a few months ago and now he and his daughter don't speak, all because we caught her having phone sex and tried to actually DISCIPLINE her. Now she refuses to come over, return his calls, etc and we're moving into a 1 bedroom apartment in a month since we don't need to pay to have 2 bedrooms anymore! It's been VERY peaceful and no stress at all at home now that she's no longer coming over and causing a bunch of drama for attention.

~Mel

Thank you! I would not say it was easy. But at least I got a full picture of what my life would be a week before signing a marriage license. I am happy that I never signed any legal document. Knowing what I know now and that he would not change a thing and has not changed a thing is actually liberating.
Let me tell you that 10 months later - life is better than ever. Keep you head high and smile - love yourself and life. Love and light to you and I feel and know how you feel. There is no change if he does not want to change.

I know that feeling. SD14 had her phone back within 3 days after she got caught having SEX at age 13!!! Sickening isn't it?

~Mel