Update on CPS and sD14
So I called GM a few days ago to fill her in and give her the contact info for the hospital. She decided to lie to SD and say I called to tell her I didn't want her in my hime, hated her, blah blah. I texted her and told her to get help, stop hurting the kid more by lying and manipulating her etc, I was nice about it. She lied to SD about what I texted, of course. I told SO to stick to written communication from now on. He will have to upgrade his phone so he can screenshot everything from now on.
SD was being released yesterday. She said if she came home she'd hurt herself. SO showed the CPS worker and hospital staff everything on her hidden cell to prove the reason she didn't want to come home wasn't because she was afraid. The worker told us she knows SD is lying about the abuse and that she's trying to use self harm to get her way. Finally someone believes us and can see this shit. Makes me feel better knowing not everyone is bat shit crazy around here. This is the 2nd worker to be able to see all of BMs and GMs bullshit. The worker had SO do a 3 way call with GM and told her that SD would go to her home because SO was allowing it and that she would have to monitor her, not allowing her to go to friends, smoke, etc. GM started to claim none of this happened at her house blah blah asking for proof but the worker quickly said SO is on the line and has plenty of proof. Shut that bitch down quick. She will be there until Sunday. She's been prescribed a few different medications.
SD, SO and myself will be going to family counseling this week. I'm hoping they can help with BMs manupulation, I guess it would be close to PAS. They've been trying to make her hate SO since she was 8 when they ended their relationship. Constantly telling her they are the only ones that care, SO is violent and only wants money etc. Kept her away from SO and her siblings for over 3 years. I felt bad for her because of this. I don't know if I still do. Yeah, they messed with her head and got her to believe this stuff even though living here she's seen first hand that SO only wants what's best for her. But isn't there a certain age or something that the kid will finally start thinking for herself? Hasn't she been able to figure out what BM is doing? BM goes months without seeing her, talking to her maybe every other week, told her she wants her to die, and so much more. SD claims she wants nothing to do with BM now and doesn't want to live with her either, just wants GM. Only reason she wants GM is because she can do whatever the hell she wants when she wants.
This is all just ridiculous to me. BM and GM are so damn stupid and self centered, SD can't form a single original thought or feeling, SO is lost. I've been enjoying the small vacation from SD and her drama. It's time to install the cameras around the house and for SO to figure out how to parent her.
SO is filing the paperwork, at the suggestion of CPS and the hospital, for SD to be an unruly child. I'm not sure exactly what that means so if anyone can explain it to me I'd appreciate it.
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I've never heard of "unruly
I've never heard of "unruly child". I don't really have any advice. This is such a hard situation. My DH has SD12 who is PASd out. She wants to live with BM so badly that she threatened to accuse DH of sexual abuse. Bm lets SD12 do whatever she wants so I understand what you are going through. It is a bad situation. I am sorry you are dealing with it. Hopefully, she will get on some meds and you will see some improvement. I don't understand these BMs and GMs that think letting a kid do whatever they want is the best answer. I am happy that the CPS worker sees through it. At least, you have that on your side.
Screenshots don't work in a
Screenshots don't work in a courtroom. They can with CPS and to show your lawyer. But her lawyer could object to them because they aren't actually properly subpoenaed through the phone company so BM/GM could deny ever seeing or sending them. I know from experience. I would stick to emails.
What it means depends on what
What it means depends on what state you are in.
Do you live in Tennessee or
Do you live in Tennessee or Ohio? There is an Unruly Child Disposition in Juvenile court in those states. Sounds like basically the court can deem the child unruly and remove them from the home for a period of time.
It means the state takes
It means the state takes responsibility for them. I had 2 little cousins this happened to. They lived with crackhead mom and gmom. Gmom couldnt make them do anything including school. They went through several relatives homes before ending up in juvie and then from there one was put in fostercare with family visits and the othrr first went to mental hospital and then into a girls home.
When her behaviour improved she went back to her gmoms..however its looking like she will be sent back out shortly. The older aged out and lives with gmom and does under the table work.
It really was the best thing for the oldest. He burned all relatives with his stealing and running away and truely realized he hit bottom..but now hes back with his mom i dont see it lasting.
Their father is in jail for the next 20 years.
I'm afraid of the false
I'm afraid of the false sexual assault claims coming next, hence the security cameras and no one going into an area unmonitored with her at any time.
I told SO about our family wizard when I first started reading here, he thought it was a good idea but never acted on it because it was "necessary". He finally realized that it will do a lot of good and prevent BM from going full on crazy. Also the cameras recording will help if/when he has to call her. BM can't afford a lawyer, expected the state to give her one when we originally went to court for custody. She's not used to hearing no so the last few years have been a nightmare for her. She went as far to go up to our lawyer and start telling her about all of her problems and asking how she can win. A real wtf are you that dumb moment. And, yes, she really is that fucking dumb lol.
I asked SO to explain the unruly child thing to me because in my home state we didn't have it. He said basically he takes her to juvenile court with the paperwork and any proof and they decide if she needs counseling, placed in juvie or into a group home.
The meds never worked before. BM and GM convinced her she needs them to function. With no contact from either of them and no meds she was doing fine. As soon as BM discovered the meds were gone all hell broke loose and it's just gotten worse. Fuck it, let her have her meds and let BM feel important I guess.
As a mother I just don't understand how these people can hurt that child ON PURPOSE. Just to try to get her to hate us and to make her dependant on them. She will be an adult soon, now is the time to teach independence not cripple her even more. To be honest I don't think SD ever matured mentally. She has the body and desires of a teenager but doesn't even seem like she's 10 yet. SO wants to give up and send her back to BM and everyone is encouraging him to do so, but he's not ready yet. He still thinks he can help her. Unfortunately unless he limits or preferably cuts all contact with BM and her family that will never happen.