SD and BC update
So, SD and I had the BC talk, I told her I am afraid she is going to get pregnant and if she does she is going to live with her mother. I told her we have to speak to her dad and she has to tell him what she and her bf have been doing. DH agreed that she can go on it but told her this is not permission for her to go out and whore around and have sex with every guy she meets. (That's 3x in a week he's used the word-whore, slut, trashy and floozy talking about SD, I wonder what DH really thinks about her?)
Then DH cried, he said that SD is not his baby anymore and he thinks that she's too young to be on BC. I said he was too young to be a grandfather.
DH was so distraught he wouldn't even look at me after and this morning it was a quick kiss goodbye and he left for work. Finally DH sees what his daughter is doing, it's like a weight was lifted from my shoulder. Now when he drops her off there, he knows that SD and bf are going into his room closing the door and getting naked while the boys mother is in the other room. How in his right mind could he still allow that to happen? I am going away this weekend, wonder how that's gonna play out. If she were my daughter, I would not allow her to be going there anymore, if she wanted to see him, he would come to my house and the door would be OPEN or removed.
SD is so irresponsible, somehow, I see once she gets on the BC, she will be missing pills. She already said last night, she doesn't know what she will do when she goes to her BM over the summer, how will she take the pills there? I think SD should get the depro shot, that way I know she is protected and since DH will not be going to the dr appt with us, I may push for that.
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Or ask about an iud. Those
Or ask about an iud. Those will last for years, worry free. And she can have it removed when she is ready for kids.
I agree with this.^^^ I
I agree with this.^^^
I didn't grow up with a Catholic influence, however I did grow up with parents who had rules about dating & such. My parents met every person I ever dated before I moved away from home. I was not allowed to date until I was 16. My parents didn't adore the 11 & 12-year old "crushes" & think they were cute. When all that started, they took the opportunity to talk to me about the importance of conducting myself in a respectable, modest, appropriate, "young-lady" way. They didn't allow me to dress in half-shirts & boom-boom shorts.
When I did start dating I wasn't allowed to have boys over without an adult being home. When they did come over, we spent our time in the living room or in the kitchen. I wasn't allowed to take them to my bedroom, & we certainly weren't allowed to shut ourselves in a room alone.
Rules didn't turn me into a rampant teenager. I started taking BC when I turned 17, at the suggestion of my doctor to try to get my periods in check, & didn't have sex for the first time until a year & a half after that.
Imagine how many affairs & unexpected pregnancies would not exist if people would just make the choice to keep themselves out of questionable situations. Don't create an environment that nurtures temptation!
Now, I'm not dumb enough to believe that an adult can MAKE a child not have sex. However, those parents who give their permission & provide the environment & create a safe-haven for it all to go down...they might as well throw in the candles, the bump & grind background music, & hang the Do Not Disturb tag on the door on their way out.
I also agree that if dad is helping her get on BC, he needs to opt for the shot. Hell, there are 40-year old women who forget to take their pills. I certainly wouldn't bank on that method teenager.
I would definitely recommend
I would definitely recommend the shot. Along with a talk from the doctor about STDs and how the shot does not prevent those.
I know... that's how bm got
I know...
that's how bm got pregnant the last time...couldn't keep up with taking her pills...
SD, BM got preggers with SD
SD, BM got preggers with SD when she was 16. That's another thought in my head, how history repeats itself.
I'm not exactly shocked by
I'm not exactly shocked by this...but it seems strange that he doesn't put more restrictions on her visits!
She has no restrictions at
She has no restrictions at all. When she does something he doesn't like she is NEVER grounded,nothing is ever taken away. She lies straight to his face and he just blows it off, his answer is she's his little princess and she lives on a pedestal. I hope this is opening his eyes and he starts to see what she is. I asked her a couple of weeks ago, when she is at the bf is the mother there? Does she allow you to close the door? She answered yes to her there and no to closing the door. Last night she said, the mother is either sleeping because she works at night OR she is in her room with the door closed, or she isn't home. She also said that they are in his room with the door closed and she is in her bra and panties and he's in his boxers. So, not only did she lie and DH didn't catch it BUT he never even said anything about their attire. He never even said she shouldn't be doing that. WTF? I told her it was inappropriate, I asked her what she is going to do when his mother walks in on them, I asked her what she thinks his mother is going to think of her. DH said none of it...WTF??
Funny, when I met DH almost 9 years ago he used to say SD will never be dating and SD will have me or her uncle as a prom date however he never followed through with any of his threats. The first time he dropped her off, he never asked to speak with the mother, he didn't ask to meet the mother, he just dropped her off.
DH is such a moron.
I like the idea of talking to
I like the idea of talking to the bf's mom and when I was 16 and I had a bf, my parents were in constant contact with his parents as well; the only problem is, things today are not the same as they were in the 80's. Now, parents NEVER talk to any other parents because everyone has a cell phone, ok, I'm sorry, that's not entirely true, I never let my BS14 do anything without talking to his friend's parents first, I don't care if I embarrass him, that's the way I was raised and it's the way I raise my children. DH on the other hand, did whatever he wanted and went wherever he wanted as a kid, his parents didn't care as long as he was home before dark, that is the way he is raising his daughter. I tell him all the time, he needs to talk to these parents before he drops SD off anywhere whether it's her bf or just a girl friend. DH doesn't, he relies on the word of SD and I think that's insane. DH said to me last night after this conversation, that he can't keep them apart, maybe not but honestly, how in his right mind can he allow her to go there knowing what they do. I just asked my father what would he have done, and he said what I expected, not allow her to go there anymore. When I was 16 and I had a boyfriend, we were not allowed in my room with the door closed and if we were in my room, we were not allowed to sit on the bed together. I wish DH was like this with SD, especially now that he know's what's going on. I just don't understand.