BM Logic: Pets before Paying Bills
Apparently BM had wanted a certain type of pet for many, many years. Somehow, she has acquired not one, but TWO, of these said pets.
Good for her, right? Well, sure. If she had a job. And she weren't complaining that she can't pay her bills. And if OSS weren't asking DH to take him to go buy undershirts because BM doesn't have the money.
SERIOUSLY?! You can't pay your utility bills, but you get TWP GD EXPENSIVE-TO-KEEP PETS?!
You can't go spend $20 to buy shirts for your kid, but you can manage to feed two pets?! Because you've "always wanted them"?!
It's not even her money paying for these things - it's DH's since CS is her only income at the moment! Jesus, I wish someone would throw an extra $1,000 my way each month - I have some new clothes, a few tattoos, and a new car I'd love to have!
Eff right off, BM!
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Comments
He needs to be firm and
He needs to be firm and remind her that is what CS is for. The kids will not die from this. My DH had to remind BM various times thru the CS years that the skids needed clothes and food. (food !!wtf) Yeah it will become a power struggle and yes explaining that a judge ordered dad to pay $$amount and mom agreed to take care of you with it is an appropriate thing to do. Ask you mom. I'm broke. All good things to say and keeping it real with the skids.
I think CODs grow up thinking there is an a bottomless supply of money in this world and parents do a real disservice when they keep facts about money from them. Do they need to see spreadsheet? No but they can be told no. Just like a BM can be told no and to do her job or she can explain it to the judge.
That's all well and good, but
That's all well and good, but she just won't do for the kids. He has played the "ask your mom" card, and she just won't. The lids WILL go without, but it's such a BM-centric state that the worst that would happen is DH would get temporary custody until BM got just a fraction of her sh*t together.
That's what I mean by teenager. She doesn't care. She'll let her kids go without to prove a point, but she'll also do as a judge tells her to also prove that she can do what she wants. It's happened to DH already, and is currently happening to a close family-friend.
What I DO think DH needs to do is work with OSS to get a job and his license. He is old enough to make money to buy the things he needs and wants. That may be a discussion I have DH just regarding OSS and household funds.
Then be sure to set him up
Then be sure to set him up with a bank account that BM can not get her hands on.
I did this with DS19, he has
I did this with DS19, he has his own account but I'm joint on it. I put money in 1x a month to help with his college expenses. His father who stole school money from dd23 has zero access to it.
Already on my radar.
Already on my radar.
She is a weird combination of parent. She has never taken money from the boys, but allowed her XH to steal from them. She also asks her mom (who is also dirt poor) for cash. And, of course, DH (and my FIL by extension). Part of me wants to believe that the kids will continue to be immune from her directly taking from them...
...BUT I wouldn't put it past her to guilt the kids into thinking they needed to pay their own way in a way they shouldn't. And the boys, having been raised to be gentlemen to a fault, would likely hand over the cash. At least setting him up an account that is solely in his name, or joint with DH, which mean that she'd have to beg and barter with her own kids.
I feel for you. BM abused SD9
I feel for you. BM abused SD9's little lap dog (Now MIL's thank goodness...) Yet the skids came home after this weekend told me she bought a chihuahua, when money is apparently tight, she's abused past animals (by neglect and actual physical), can't be bothered to do anything for skids, AND can't even be bothered with a real job or to pay CS...
But yes, let's buy another pet... Oh also, it's already growling at SD5, and apparently Psycho laughed becuase it was "funny."
I swear it's got to be some
I swear it's got to be some white trash gene that makes people do this.
Meth mouth was the same way, always had a new puppy or kitty (they never lasted she would dump them at the pound) and Spawn was always crying to us about we didn't give meth mouth money so she could keep the animals.
"white trash gene.."
"white trash gene.."
BWAHAHAHA!!!
Yep! Succubus has had a
Yep! Succubus has had a revolving door of pets for 13 years. Snakes, rats, dogs, cats...some here may even remember the "cat hole" she had in their single wide trailer for the feral felines to come and go as they pleased. Good times.
I just about spit my coffee out - yes, THIS.
DH’s parent’s are like this. They have SIX indoor Jack Russell dogs. I say “indoor” because they don’t have a fenced-in yard for them to run mad wild in, and HELLO!? they’re Jack Russells!
Walking into their home is a risk to your health, just asking to be tripped or bitten.
Once the puppy phase is over, they’re off to the state next to us to PURCHASE, not ADOPT, another dog for $1000/$1500. Then it’s “Oh, we’re taking out another mortgage on our house. Blah, blah, blah, blah.”
With looking to buy a house
With looking to buy a house DW has told GD we could get a pet (landlord currently doesn't allow them), I am very much an animal lover ( used to be a veterinary physical therapy tech ) but I am hesitant about a pet right away, GD is always the best at follow through for responsibility yet and a pet is a big responsibility, her mother has had a revolving door of puppies for years, they get lost, killed etc. SD26 is the BM in our situation and she is most definately white trash, not sure where she got the gene, must have been spontaneous lol
In that situation. Maybe
In that situation. Maybe start with something small and work up? LIke a fish? See if she can help clean the tank and feed it daily before moving on to something else? Or you could even skip fish and do a turtle I guess, I'm just not sure you want to jump straight to puppies.