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Disengagment bumps

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Submitted by Kinder1 on Sun, 07/10/2016 - 10:07am

Currently disengaging from 3 adult Skids meaning I will only attend major events. We had lots of contact with BM which was an enormous mistake over 13 years while kids were growing up. She pulled tons of crap and then somehow got the kids to disengage from us. She is alone by choice and sticks to DHs family (her ex-laws) like glue and they readily include her. Her intrusions into my marriage are epic so I made it clear to DH she's out of the picture and we will only be around her if it involves the Skids or grandson.

Klepto BM

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Submitted by Kinder1 on Thu, 07/07/2016 - 2:54pm

SS27 showed us more restaurant items last night at his house stolen by BM from a local restaurant (the staff know DH and I very well). She takes restaurant items in restaurants including twice in my presence at family events. DH finally admitted to me he thinks "it's way off". I have been disengaging from being around her since the kids got older as well as the 3 Skids for various reasons. Why does this make me nervous??

Nasty slip

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Submitted by Kinder1 on Mon, 06/27/2016 - 8:13am

Hoping I can hear some comments regarding a disengage slip. DH called son-in-law yesterday for his bday. SD24 has made it clear to me after years of closeness when she was young that in the past few years I don't exist. She has asked DH not to put me on the phone to say hi (they live out of state), she stopped sending Mday card (which i received from her for years), doesn't tal to me at functions except for hello. We don't know why. When I asked she said "you can't make people like you" and "I don't want to ever have this conversation".

DH and BM work together

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Submitted by Kinder1 on Sun, 06/12/2016 - 10:42pm

DH and BM run a business together which didn't bother me much until the last few years because I started to feel like it would never end. This weekend DH tells me he's merging it with another small company which is great. BM will no longer be in charge and in several years he will sell it off. He mentioned they may go out to lunch or dinner with the other couple who own the other business. I casually said, "oh I would like to join in if it is in a restaurant since it will be with another married couple" (who I know very well). DH says "okay then I won't go we will meet at the office".

Socializing with SDs In-laws

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Submitted by Kinder1 on Fri, 06/10/2016 - 6:10am

I'm looking for opinions here. I'm currently disengaging from 3 adult Skids. The most difficult one is 24 and married to a great guy who has great parents. DH and I have socialized with them a few times a year over the last several years. Now that I am disengaging and based on the fact that SD haI am thinking why should I befriend SDs in-laws when she won't even say hello to me on the phone anymore. I am rethinking seeing the in-laws. DH asked last night if we should call them to go out to dinner and I said not this weekend. Do you think I should steer clear of them as well as SD?

End of My Rope

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Submitted by Kinder1 on Mon, 06/06/2016 - 8:59am

So I posted some thoughts on BM and there was alot of great feedback and opinions that got into moral behaviors, religious protocols, judging..light stuff (lol). I take the time to read carefully because people on the site take the time to write and share and basically what I came away with is the fact that I am really at the end of my rope being in the presence of BM. It has been 13 years and all 3 of DHs kids are now married. I was hoping it would be getting better and there would be less contact. Again, underestimating the situation of SM as I have always done.

BM will be at dinner tonight

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Submitted by Kinder1 on Sat, 06/04/2016 - 12:03pm

SS got married two weeks ago and invited us to dinner with BM and new in-laws. I've always agreed to be present with BM if it directly has to do with the Skids. DH has 3 adult children, all married. I dread it. She is not only boring, but looks me up and down, she is opinionated and knows nothing but reality tv--i could go on. DH thinks its great that everyone gets along but has no clue to the nuances and the thin veneer which only serves to get me angered up inside.

Disengagement Question

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Submitted by Kinder1 on Mon, 05/30/2016 - 9:36pm

Has anyone had this experience: When you begin disengaging from SKids who don't want you around, they start to reach out more and want you back in the system? What is that?? My DH see it as "See, they like you, they want you around!". I see it as if they are just trying to get me back in the system so they have more access to DH and his checkbook as well as having a normal looking intact family with their spouses. I also see it as keeping me around as an appendage that serves some purpose but it doesn't matter that I get nothing in return. Any feedback??

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