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BM will be at dinner tonight

Kinder1's picture

Submitted by Kinder1 on Sat, 06/04/2016 - 12:03pm

SS got married two weeks ago and invited us to dinner with BM and new in-laws. I've always agreed to be present with BM if it directly has to do with the Skids. DH has 3 adult children, all married. I dread it. She is not only boring, but looks me up and down, she is opinionated and knows nothing but reality tv--i could go on. DH thinks its great that everyone gets along but has no clue to the nuances and the thin veneer which only serves to get me angered up inside. I guess I am just venting and after 2 hours it will all be over unless the torture continues and we get invited back to SSs house-oh please, NO! Can anyone identify??? Any tips???

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twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Sat, 06/04/2016 - 12:11pm

There is the bride's family to meet. Maybe they will be good conversationalist and dinner will be pleasant.

2Tired4Drama's picture

Submitted by 2Tired4Drama on Sat, 06/04/2016 - 12:14pm

Yes, although I haven't had occasion to sit at a table with BM for any period of time, I have had to deal with her at graduations, etc.

Here's my only tip. Pretend that BM is not your DH's ex ... she is just an annoying "relative" that is in attendance, or imagine she's your DH's boss' wife. An annoying person whom you don't have to deal with except these rare occasions.

In case SS has grand plans to invite everyone over after, you make sure ahead of time that your DH knows this ain't happening ... and that you both will politely decline and make up an excuse as to why you can't go.

The positives to this is if you go and act your witty, charming and gracious self, and BM talks of nothing but the adventures of the Housewives on TV, then the SS in laws will undoubtedly realize that your DH made a wise choice to dump the loser BM and marry you!

Kinder1's picture

Submitted by Kinder1 on Sat, 06/04/2016 - 12:46pm

These are so helpful! Feels like I have some support just reading them and the ideas are great. I do visualize when I am in situations where I don't want to be. Usually I picture BM in a hospital gown and that she is crazed and I just feel bad for her rather then angry (after many years of her manipulation and antics-except when it comes to taking DHs money, then she is quite sane). In fact, she did get her kids to detach from us quite a bit but thankfully they include us in their functions. True, she probably doesn't want me around either but she was the one who wanted a divorce and is officially president of the man haters club--wants no partner, male or female, etc. I am totally different from her in many ways and I am sure it makes her uncomfortable too. Ugh-I'll stop here because I can carry on. In any case I appreciate these good ideas!!