So frustrated!
So I think it has been a week or so since I have blogged last. I thought things were going okay until now. Now I know that I am going to have our ups and downs, but my patience is wearing thin these days. My bf dd12 hasn't came over in almost a month and continues to refuse to do so as long as I am around (nothing new). Last weekend wasn't his weekend, but he attempted to call his dd and spend some time with her and go to a movie and supper. I was all for it. She should spend alone time with her dad and do things alone without me. It again happened this weekend and now I am starting to think that geez, is this going to happen every weekend? The only way he can see her is if they go do something fun and then he drops her back off at home.
Here is my problem, and maybe i'm being selfish, but its what I feel so you all can judge if you like. The things that run through my head are these. I have worked all weekend, I get off work at 4, come home to an empty house, eat supper alone, and now spend the rest of my night alone because your dd refuses to even been in the same house with me? I don't see you during the week because you are a seasonal worker and work crazy hours so my only time I get to see you is during the weekend and now I have to cut that time in half? This isn't a relationship, its a roommate with a bratty daughter. Sorry. The dd is back to getting everything she wants.
I understand that she is 12 and children that age are worried about themselves and that is all the further she can see. I know that I am an adult and I need to give and take when it comes to their relationship, but at what point can I put my foot down and say, I won't give up anymore time with you (bf)? I feel like he was doing so well and putting his foot down and saying that he loved her and when she was ready to come over she was welcome any time and it has gone from that to...you want to do something fun by ourselves and never with stepmom, okay sure! I feel like she is getting rewarded for throwing a tantrum.
Has anyone felt this way or am I throwing things way out of proportion?
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No I haven't gone through
No I haven't gone through that but I feel very sad for you bc he is rewarding that behavior and at the cost of your relationship. I think it would get old quick but hope he comes to his senses before its too late.
You are being reasonable. I
You are being reasonable. I would rather be alone and available to date other men than alone and stuck with a man I hardly ever see. but that's me.
I haven't been through exactly the same thing, but in an attempt to keep me and his kids separated my ex-bf decided we could only date every other week when the kids were with their mom. And during kid week we would just meet for lunch. He had this great plan all worked out in his head and never even asked me if it was what I wanted. After he made this announcement to me during lunch I went back to work, waited a few hours, then called him and broke up with him for good. Never looked back.
I found a better guy, nothing's perfect, but at least it's better than the last situation.
how do i tell him that to get
how do i tell him that to get him to understand and not take it as me attacking him?
We're kinda of going through
We're kinda of going through something similar. SD5 doesnt dislike me, but she cant handle sleeping here, so DH will go see her for the day (doing fun things, she lives an hour away) and then come home.
So thats the whole weekend where I either have to not see our BS2 if he takes him with, or a whole day to myself, or a whole day gone going to do fun things for SD.
Considering this is the only time you get to see him, I can definitely understand how frustrating this can be. Before I got a job that had weekends off, I worked the weekend he had her, so they always got to spend a lot of time together without me. Although I think their 1 on 1 time is important, if your in it for the long haul, she needs to understand that you two are a package, and that your not going to just disappear any time she wants to see her dad.
People often talk about disney dads and I think this is how that happens a lot of the time, skids get used to getting all that they want and anything they dont like they dont have to do, people they dont want to deal with, they dont.. its a very unrealistic way to live.
well, i told the bf that i
well, i told the bf that i didnt like cutting my time with him in half and that he wasnt solving anything by seeing the dd away grom me he was just continueing to take me out of the equation and if he was going to keep doing this then i dont want to be here anymore. im guessing i should pack my bags.
He is suppose to have his dd
He is suppose to have his dd e/o weekend. I even went as far as switching the weekends that i work so they could have one on one time with each other while i worked all day long. Im sorry but i didnt sign up for a part time bf that has to leave every time he wants to see his dd. He is already gone all week long and now on weekends i still dont get time with him? im not okay with that. i feel like he needs to stick to his guns and say we want you here to spend time with us and until your ready u should.stau at ur bm.