I have decided.........
I am not going to be victim to my stepdaughter and her shenanigans anymore,I am done. I will be civil to her if she comes around but I am done. Wanting her to love me and resolve our issues that are really her issues by texting and leaving voice mails to her with no response, is only draggin me down and not making me a good parent,wife,and worker and she ain't worth all that. I was letting her drag me down emotionally with her alienation. Shit on her, I know I am a good person and have been simply great to her from day one. My husband knows all this and he thinks she is being ridiculous. But I think he should just have a relationship with her and the grandaughter and I will go my separate way during those times. He says he don't want to live two separate lives like that but it is the only way and he says he is not going to let this ruin his marriage over her bullshit. I believe him.
- juliannbaker's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
thanks!! I gotta do this for
thanks!! I gotta do this for myself and my sanity! She won't have that power if I am not playing along in her dumbass shit.
you rock Step Aside!! I
you rock Step Aside!! I agree with you and your exercise too!! Lemme tell you that today a good friend of mine who has little money has a dog that has caused a lot of fleas in her home and she told me how frustrating it was and that she has tried a lot of stuff.. So today knowing this issue she has been having-- I went to Feeders Supply and bought her some good flea stuff to get rid of her flea problem and give her peace! She hugged me and said "you are too good to me." And I know I am a good person and thoughtful and I don't need to surround myself with or consume my time letting anyone who cares less for me (manily the stepdaughter). I need to be the best me I can be and not let let anyone make me their emotional prisoner anymore cause it sucks ass and I don't like it. But I DO love being loved and cared for by those who matter.
omgosh!!!
wow i so did the samething! but we will see how it works out...lol....
~stepaside~ i want to feel like you do, so free from all the drama... i know that as soon as i get to that point bm will call and cause some kind of drama to wreck my peace... and i feel it comeing bc she lets my sks di whatever they want and shes not going to be able to control them here pretty soon. bc our paris,britney, and lindsey... and i dont know a braty guy but ss sure raise the bar and shes not going to be able to handle it.
"parents who are afraid to put thier foot down usually have children who step on their toes" ~chinese proverb~
baby you gotta do it, they
baby you gotta do it, they need you alot more than you need them. If they want to be assholes let them do it all by theirselves, you gotta better shit to do with your time. They got a momma let her deal with them. Besides she is the one who created them being monsters. And I am sooooo a firm believer in what comes around goes around.... It might not happen right away but it does happen when u least expect it. I don't wish anything ill for my stepdaughter or anyone else but I feel like if you make that bed then you lay in it.. Stepparents I feel try too hard to get along with their stepkids and it should not always end up a take-take relationship it should be 50/50 one. You are worth just as much as you are giving. I am a sucker and a "too nice person" girl and I am not ashamed to say so. But you gotta step back and ask yourself what is important and what aint and what isnt you need to leave in the wind. Sure your stepkids are important but when you know in your heart of hearts you have done everything to get along and they are not receptive then stop the clock and don't waste another minute. Focus on you, your kids and hubby and let him know that you tried and you care about them but to be the best you that you can be you have just got to let go of the situation but that if they come around you will treat them in a cordial and civil manor but you will not expect any less than respect than you and he demand from your own kids. Power to you!!!!!!!!!
i know they need me more!
i know they need me more then i need them! and i also know that they will be calling me before i call them!!! but this time they neednt call mebc i will not answer! they can call their dad and deal with him! or talk to their mom! so they can just stick that in their jucie bixes and suck it! lol hahahaha
"parents who are afraid to put thier foot down usually have children who step on their toes" ~chinese proverb~
Totally agree with all of the above!
Juliann: when I read your post, I thought I wrote it!! I've come to the decision that I'm done with my SKids...the SD is 21 and has rejected me every time I make an effort to connect. (unless I'm buying her something..)Of course, DH doesn't see it, and so rather than looking like the evil step mom, I keep trying...and trying...and trying.
I had a calm, rational conversation with my DH about it, and I flat out told him "I'm Done". I wouldn't accept this behavior from any other person in my life, why should I let her treat me this way? so, this weekend he made plans to see the Skids, but I "have other plans". We'll see how it goes.
I think I'll try Step Aside's idea and show some appreciation for the people in my life who need it!
Amen
I am no longer shopping or giving presents either, until DH receives one from SD. Wonder how long it will take? She used to give them but stopped in recent years. She is working so I see zero explanation for this. Oh well, its a two way street!
_________________________________________________________
Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.
William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2reply to soy-girl
yep step aside has the right idea and you know I would much rather spend my damn time being appreciated instead of alienated like I am an "untouchable" or something! I did that "trying" shit too with my stepdaughter and she just flat out refuses to make ammends and for what reason?? NONE. I was letting it consume my thoughts and eat me up and make me a basketcase. I looked at the big picture one day when I stepped back and thought about the whole thing and I realized that I AM A GREAT PERSON and I can't let her dominate my thoughts with negativity and hate. It was making me severely depressed thinking that maybe I was an awful person and this is the reason she hates me. I wanted to have an explanation and it is so much easier for us to blame ourselves so we can have one. But I believe in the saying what comes around goes around and hers will come back to her. She is missing out having a great addition in her life--ME! The sooner you realize that like I did the better you will be. And realize sometimes people are just bitches for no reason or maybe they are just unhappy with their damn selves and their pathetic lives. So what better thing to do then to drag someone in the pit with you. Hell no I won't go!
reply to step aside
Sorry you gotta deal with such brats!!! The whole thing with them treating your hubby like that is they are trying to manipulate him by putting conditions on their love to him because they know they can because he has no conditions on his love to him. And they feel probably like if they shun you and treat you like utter shit that you will crack and show yourself eventually and then they think daddy dear will ditch you over treating his angels bad. Thats what they want so they won't have to share him and his money with you and yours. You are an obstacle for them. I say we let the daddies deal with their overgrown brats. They will get fed up if they haven't already and cut them loose. And if you don't let them get to you and you detatch yourself then they have nothing valid to bitch about and if they do the are only making themsleves look bad. My husband talks to our stepdaughter but he won't tolerate any manipulation from her and that is good he shouldn't. I detatched myself cause I had to. She told him yesterday that she was not mad at me anymore but that she was not ready to come around me yet. Boo hoo she won't grace us with her presence, oh well! She probably is ashamed deep down and it always hard to face someone when you have done them wrong. But when the day comes that she does come around I will be nice and cordial but I am not going to act like I am going to be jumping through hoops because of it. She will be damn lucky if I EVER treat her the same again.
step aside
ur right nothing can change if u r doing it all by yourself so why waste the effort. I mean it would be nice if our stepkids would act right but in all reality the only ones who know how to act right are us. All we can do is put it on the back burner so it does not consume us and ruin what lives we do have right in front of us. And it can consume your life if u don't watch out and then it makes u into a person u don't want to be nor does your kids deserve you to be.