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Shoe drop postponed

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Tue, 05/06/2025 - 2:41pm

I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop since the day SD63 got referrals for her tremors and leaking, bleeding breast implants.  That was also the day she told me her car needed $800 in repairs to pass inspection and laid down all her other financial, medical and relationship problems.  In the meantime, I learned she has 2 upcoming court appearances for speeding, lapsed plates and no car insurance.  She was scheduled to be here today to pay her "rent' and I dreaded it 

Sadly (lol), I missed her.  She arrived while I was at Silver Sneakers and unfortunately (lol), I had to pick up my prescription so was delayed getting home and she was gone.  DH said she didn't stay long and wasn't feeling well.  She left $ with him, supposedly.  In any event, he gave me the amount, whether out of his $ or hers, I didn't ask.  He has been recounting his cash ever since she left.  He often does that now that he has dementia but I wouldn't be surprised if there were less than before she arrived.  Whatever - now that our finances are separate, that's his problem.

I asked if she'd been to the neurologist, he was unclear but I think not cuz he said she was complaining about some symptoms and said she had an appointment in 2 weeks.  If I were to guess, I'd say she's afraid to go but told him "2 weeks" to get him off her back 

In any event, I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop but it's not today.  Yah!

 

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JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Tue, 05/06/2025 - 6:10pm

When SD lived with us and the situation became untenable, I knew she had to go but the reality was that we would have to subsidize her.  I estimated it would be costing us about $500 a month, based on her only income being Soc Sec disability.  Around the same time, my mom planned to go, with my disabled sister, into a retirement community and put her condo on the market.  The maintenance fee was a little under $500.  I decided to buy the condo and Mom gave me a good price. It's in a 60+ years-old condo community in a middle class area with an excellent school district.

So, we moved SD into the condo and she pays $400 monthly to me and I pay the maintenance fee since I can't count on her to pay someone else on time but she does pay us.  The $100 balance between the cost and what SD pays comes out of DH's allowance.   The condo was in "distressed" state from my sister's wheelchair banging into walls and her dog peeing on the rug.  We replaced the carpet and I give SD credit for repainting and doing what she can to make it look good.  According to Zillow, the value has almost doubled since I bought it 6 years ago.

This isn't the ideal solution and I'd much rather see SD in a Section 8 place so I could cut ties with her more but it is what it iis.  She's housed, DH sees his daughter in a safe place and we are not out much more than if she'd gone into an apartment.  Plus, she can't be evicted like she was from her 2 prior apartments.  At some point, we will recoup and actually make some money.

You can only do what you can do.  Sigh....

 

grannyd's picture

Submitted by grannyd on Tue, 05/06/2025 - 9:33pm

Hon, reading your posts over the years and considering your enduring support for, quite possibly, the worst SDIL on the site, I hereby recommended you for sainthood. Let’s face it, you could be doing so much less, complaining so much more and being oh, so justifiably nasty, if you were that way inclined.

Yet, you keep soldiering on. As do the majority of us SMs, yeah? I contend that there is not a more tolerant, patient or well-intentioned individual on earth than yon long-suffering SM. We should be celebrated, FF’sake, rather than scorned in media and in our personal lives!

WHEW! An exhausted grannyd steps, gingerly (arthritic knees), from her slightly elevated soapbox to take a nap….

ETA: Stepdaughter, not DIL

grannyd's picture

Submitted by grannyd on Tue, 05/06/2025 - 9:36pm

Point taken, JRI!

However, you are a good'un, as my sainted Nana would say. Give rose