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SD16 finally got what she wants…and I don’t plan on seeing her

hregal2011's picture

Hey all. It's been a while since I've posted.  Honestly, it's been the best month I've had in years.  I'm almost sad to say it's likely because SD 16 has Not been here since Father's Day when I was very blunt with her.  A lot of it is just all of our schedules conflicting..she should be coming over tomorrow but I really doubt it.

we just found out today that BM went and bought her a new cell phone/plan (she had one from us)..because SD16 basically felt too 'restricted ' and 'not trusted' which is the BS she sells to BM all the time (we had parental restrictions so it was off at 930p and on at 7a....So Horrible...BM also went and opened her a new bank account, which she had while here too.  None of this was discussed with DH At All.  BM also had a new baby a couple weeks ago so this is basically all to appease SD so she can focus on new baby.  We are just so done.  My DHs heart hurts, and I get it.  I feel bad for him.  She is so self centered and could give two eff's about her dad.  Ugh.  We will see what tomorrow brings..however if she continues to be gone, I'm packing her shit up and dropping it off.  It smells in there and this is still my house.  If she ever comes oc r after there will be a spare bed for her but..she has made it clear she doesn't want to be here.  So eff it.  She's getting older-sink or swim kid. Hope you all are having a decent summer. 

Comments

justmakingthebest's picture

I get it. I do... but I also know that teenagers brains aren't fully developed. I also know that they can be manipulative as hell and when they CAN play parents against each other- they WILL. Because, why not? They win. 

This is 100% not your problem, but her father needs to stand up and be a more effective parent if at all humanly possible. 

In our case, it isn't possible. We are 1300 miles away, BM has alienated my SS17 to the point of SS blocking his dad from everything and no matter how much we have spent and how many times we have gone to court, BM is never held accountable. It is too late for us. It just doesn't sound too late for your SD and DH. She is being a teenager and need her parents to call her on her sh!t. 

ESMOD's picture

Well... BM can't change the rules in your home.. you can't impact the ones in hers.  IMHO.. your curfew for the phone was a bit restrictive for someone her age.. especially during the summer when her "wakeup" times could vary from school year needs.  Of course.. your DH's phone? his rules.. but BM now has provided her a phone and while she can set limits.. or not.. up to her.. your DH can take the phone from her at night if he doesn't want her using it on his time (though sounds like she won't be up for much of that)..

I'm not sure if there were restrictions on her bank account.. so the reason for that may have been that BM wanted her daughter to put money given by her in an account she could control.. who knows..

hregal2011's picture

I agree to a point with the phones.  I would let the kids have them until 10-given the age..but we started without restrictions and kids literally didn't sleep, missed school ..u name it.  They just stayed up all night.  No bueno.