Mediation went overwhelmingly in our favor.
Mediation went overwhelmingly in our favor.
Out of the 12 or so various things SO was asking for modification on, SO got 10 or so. We also found out that the first right of refusal that Bm has been using against SO as a weapon, isn't interpretted the way we thought, and is actually in our favor. It is only intended to be used if SO needs a babysitter for work, or if he was going on date or something of the sort. SS5 hasn't got to spend much time with SO's parents because of this so far. But the mediator said that SO can let him spend the night with his parents if he wants to let him and she can refuse that right. Basically the mediator saw right through all of her excuses and even found it a bit humorous. BM kept saying that the only reasons SO wanted these changes was because "hayuh" wanted them. Even the mediator could see she has a complex.
Child support will be reconfigured ... which is fine, there is no way around that. I still don't think its fair that she can just sit on her ass and milk her baby daddy's for money and the government, and have everybody else pay her bill's, while she pops out baby's. But whatever, at least we know that WE are good parents and we can look at ourselves, and SS5 and know that we are doing everything we can to make a better life for him.
We didn't get everything we wanted, but we got a lot, a lot more than expected. Especially, without having to go through more court proceedings, and racking up lawyer fees. Now to get those papers expedited, and signed, before she changes her mind!
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Comments
Great news, congrats!
Great news, congrats!
youngwife2 ... I feel your
youngwife2 ... I feel your pain. We have been in and out of court so many times I have last count over the last three years. We have a significant lawyer bill, but its by far better to get it all taken care of now, rather than later, and I'm sure cost less this way too. So don't ever give up, it might get worse, but it could get better, and if your doing everything you can than know that, and try to relax enjoy the good things in your life.
There have been times, when things got so insane and crazy with BM that I have seriously questioned whether or not I can handle dealing with her for the rest of my life, as I am in love with my SO and SS5 means the world to me. It hasn't always been an easy decision for me. When SO and BM first split, he let her have everything, he just wanted out. He also gave up a lot in the decree as far as holidays and various things, just to get the papers signed, because she dragged that whole process out for 2 years!!! So technically, we have spent the last 4 years in court for bullshit! Ultimately I decided that my love for SO, and for my SS5, was something I couldn't walk away from. There was no way I was going to let BM, with all her games push me away and run me out of SO and SS5's lives just because she is a crazy. It is not their fault she is a crazy (although SO should have never married her!), and they should not have to pay for that.
Just because mediation went well, and everything is on track for the motion to modify to be wrapped up in our favor, doesn't mean that I expect the next 4,745 days (13 years till SS5 turns 18 lol) to be easy. I am sure there is going to be more issues, as BM will never go away, even when SS5 is 18 ... she will still be leeching around. But I am so thankful that SO has the balls to stand up to her and let her know that she can try all she wants but, she is going to get everything her way, and I will be a part of SS5's life ... like it or not.
Maybe now we can finally take that next big step for ourselves!!!!