D - Day (Mediation)
Today is D-day, as I like to call it, otherwise known as mediation. I don't really expect anything to come out of it, because BM has always fought everything SO has asked for, even if it was in SS5's best interest. We have been battling her in court over various issues (you can read about them in my previous blogs) for about 2 years, if not a little more. Unfortunately, she knows how to work the system, and drag things out forever! It is so frustrating.
SO talked to his lawyer yesterday, and she said that she hasn't heard anything from BM's lawyer regarding any of the issues, or a response regarding the judgment against her which she had 30 days to provide all of her financial info, and her response to the mediation date. SO called her to talk to SS5 and asked her if she planned on coming to mediation tomorrow. BM got all snarky and bitchy and said "well yeah, you know we re supposed to be there right?" So told her that he obviously knew that and he was only asking her because his lawyer hadn't heard anything from her lawyer.
SO's lawyer said that since BM hasn't responded to any of the stuff she is supposed to that he also has a good chance of getting his lawyer fees for the Motion to Modify also. So's isn't counting on it, and frankly doesn't care about it ... just wants all of this stuff taken care of, so we don't have to hassle with it anymore. Nothing he is asking for is unfair, he just wants to clarify things that have loopholes, and have neutral meeting locations to transfer SS5, and he wants him to go to a better school, which she doesn't want because its not right next to her house. Basically, she doesn't want any of this taken care of because then she couldn't get away with all of her games.
BM has been in a fairly decent mood lately, even calling me to invite to baseball practice while SO was deployed, and when I had to work, calling me to let me know how it went. BM says she wants her new baby to have a Dad like SS5 does but she makes things as difficult as possible. So I don't really believe anything she says, I kinda just feel like she is feeling sorry for herself, because her other baby's daddy moved several states away and she doesn't have as much access to milk him for money ( although she will get child support when the baby turns 6 months she said .... not sure why she has to wait till hes 6 months old ..... I would be curious to know why, if anybody does). And whatever nice ness she has exhibited lately I am sure will be out the door after mediation, when SO doesn't cave and let the things go that hes asking for.
I am anxious to find out the outcome ....
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Comments
Maybe they're waiting for a
Maybe they're waiting for a DNA test?
She said she can't even apply
She said she can't even apply for the DNA test until he is 6 months old, and couldn't put the Dad's name on the birth certificate (which I completely understand that)
Maybe the new Dad is still
Maybe the new Dad is still married to someone else and doesn't want paternity confirmed yet? Probably told BM that he would leave his wife and kids for her, then changed his mind. (Happened to someone I know... maybe just projecting here.)
Good luck with mediation. I hope the BM's stalling tactics work in your favor.
Lol .... I hadn't thought of
Lol .... I hadn't thought of that scenario regarding BM AND her new baby's daddy (they were living together for a month, until he left her). Although it would serve her right. I don't really put too much thought into it. I just found it interesting that you couldn't (or so she says) claim support till the age of 6 months, and request paternity and such.
Mediation went overwhelmingly in our favor. Out of the 12 or so various things SO was asking for modification on, SO got 10 or so. We also found out that the first right of refusal that Bm has been using against SO as a weapon, isn't interpretted the way we thought, and is actually in our favor. It is only intended to be used if SO needs a babysitter for work, or if he was going on date or something of the sort. SS5 hasn't got to spend much time with SO's parents because of this so far. But the mediator said that SO can let him spend the night with his parents if he wants to let him and she can refuse that right. Basically the mediator saw right through all of her excuses and even found it a bit humorous. BM kept saying that the only reasons SO wanted these changes was because "hayuh" wanted them. Even the mediator could see she has a complex.
Child support will be reconfigured ... which is fine, there is no way around that. I still don't think its fair that she can just sit on her ass and milk her baby daddy's for money and the government, and have everybody else pay her bill's, while she pops out baby's. But whatever, at least we know that WE are good parents and we can look at ourselves, and SS5 and know that we are doing everything we can to make a better life for him.
We didn't get everything we wanted, but we got a lot, a lot more than expected. Especially, without having to go through more court proceedings. Now to get those papers expedited, and signed, before she changes her mind!