That is the family of the sport child. Nothing wrong with that. There will be the Senior Night perhaps too, where the parents are introduced and walk out on the field with their child.

How long have you been with DH and the skids? If a long time and pretty involved in the kid's activities, sure it would be totally appropriate and nice if you were included in photo and the walk-out. But the child should not be made to feel bad or if like she's doing something wrong if she only includes her parents.

The parents divorced each other. They didn't divorce their kids. The parents have been and will always be the children's family.

But that's not to say, they need to be having these big long 'family' skype chats. That's a bit extreme. Dad and kids, fine. A few minutes perhaps to set the schedule and plan for photos tomorrow between the parents, fine. Happy family intact social hour, not ok.

Rude not to acknowledge you sitting there. Silly for you to remain sitting there like a mouse in the corner. You should have announced your presence, excused yourself and left or pinched Dad's leg until he got the clue enough was enough.

It's one thing when two parents cooperate and participate in events/necessities that involve their joint children. Children should not have to chose which parent participates nor just skip the photo due to parents being divorced...but the parents who have chosen to remarry should show respect for their new marriage partner. He needs to do the things required of a parent (sports, graduations, weddings, ect as a civilized father of the children). What he should not be doing is acting the warm fuzzy still husband to the mother of those children.

That's the difference for me. Chat inappropriate. Photo , ok. Put the kids in-between the kids in photo. It's a child's family photo of co-parents, not an in-tact happy happy couple with our kids picture.

yes yes I know your type lol....

there must be something that relaxes you a bit, glass of wine.. only one for starters... and then just head storm the thing, first time will not be easy, you have to keep certain things in mind, it's going to be pure hell and hard.

1. Remember to breath
2. Pretend not to hear skids or BM
3. Be close to DH at all times, touch his arm, hold his hand, kiss him on the cheek what ever affection you can show.
4. Remember, they've been doing it to you for years, it's pay back time bitches
5. Remember to look at their reaction - this alone will give you pleasure

it helps to look at BM straight in the eyes... look through the cow... she will start feeling uncomfortable first... that alone will give you courage to go further and further... after you succeed in the first round of the game... it gets easier cause you relax more and you are more confident...

My DH is a nice, laid back guy. When BM kicked him out (he made sure it was the LAST time) he did not touch their checking account (which was half his) because of the kids (one was not even his).

He did not want his name on anything with hers, but the bank would not take it off without BM's consent. She kept telling him she would do it but it never got done. He hated confrontation with her because she is an absolute bitch and always brought the kids into it.

But enough was enough and he finally told her that if she didn't get his name off of it by the end of that day, he was taking everything out of the account and there was not squat she could do about it. He was very calm, very direct, and very serious. His name was off of that account when he called the bank a couple of hours later.

There are times to play nice and there are times to stand up for himself, and for you. He should not cripple his life (and yours) because he has kids with the ex. BM needs to take care of her own financial business and he needs to separate that from "hurting the kids" in his mind. That is no way to live.

I would have never married him with all of THAT baggage. Kids and an ex are one thing, ruining me financially, is another.

Good grief, I remember having a conversation with DH once when he was spewing his "it's for the skid" nonsense, when he was really in fact just kowtowing to BM. DH told me that when was SS was a baby (he and BM were never married and split shortly after SS was born) that he bought all of SS diapers, formula, clothes, groceries for BM etc because "it was for SS" , he told me he bought BM a car "because it was for SS", he told me he let BM move in with him and gave her the bedroom of his one bedroom apartment while he slept on the floor in the laundry room "because it was for SS"

After he and I met, he had simmered down some with the kowtowing, but was still doing things. like when we were dating and DH and I had a golf date and he called me to cancel because BM and her BF were going to some amusement park and her car broke down and she called DH and wanted him to drive over an hour a way to pick her and her BF and BF kids and SS up. DH was going to do it! I said WTF? He said it was "for SS" because he didn't want him sitting on the side of the road. I said she doesn't have ANYONE else she can call??? Friends, family, etc???? He said no, I said bullshit. She just calls you because she knows you'll drop everything and be her servant just like you've always done. I told him since he could justify EVERYTHING being for SS... why not start wiping BM's ass but claim "it's for SS!!" after all you wouldn't want SS to have a BM with a stinky ass right?? Why not start cooking her dinner but claim it's for SS! after all you wouldn't want SS to have a mediocre dinner experience right??

I almost walked away from him that day. I told him it was clear to me that BM was always going to come first and I couldn't be in a relationship with him AND his ex. When I hung up with him, he was still planning on going to get her. I was planning on going to ride my horses and move on with my life. 10 minutes later he called and said he was NOT going to get her and that I was right, that she was just using him etc. and *gasp* guess what??? She found someone else to come and get her!!! And DH and I kept our golf date and had a wonderful time.

Unfortunately it's rather doubtful that your DH is going to change his ways, since he's been operating this way for 17 years now. I guess you just have to decide what you're OK with and stick it out for the next 4 years or so?