Covid and skids
Is anyone having issues with Covid and skids? What I'm asking is, my skids are older--18 and 21. Neither one of them or their mom take it seriously. They go to public crowd events and don't wear masks. DH still brings them over twice a week for dinner. This past weekend there was a huge thing that one of them did with hundreds of people. He was wanting to have them over today and I asked that could he at least wait a week to make sure she isn't sick or got exposed. You could tell I took the wind out of his sails. I've got health issues and I'm staying home and out of harms way. I just don't think it's fair. The skids are older and it won't kill him to not see them as often during a pandemic. If they were doing the right things I wouldn't be as worried. Am I asking too much??? They are already coming to spend this weekend with us. I was just hoping to wait at least a week from this big event she took part in to make sure she wasn't exposed.
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We haven't seen SS20 since
We haven't seen SS20 since February. Over the summer our COVID rate got very low so DH invited him over but he said he was going to a party the night before - NOPE. DH is immunocompromised, and he's not dying because of SS's idiocy.
We had this issue over
We had this issue over Thanksgiving when DH sprung his kids on our friend bubble without asking or telling anyone.
Just - surprise! Look who showed up for dinner!!! I was ticked for a number of reasons, COVID being one of them. The dinner was outdoors and they dined and dashed, which meant they were there for a total of 30 minutes or less...but still. Very rude.
I'm the one with underlying
I'm the one with underlying health conditions. At the beginning of all of this DH was more understanding. Now he wants to have them over all the time without regard to what they are doing all week long. It just seems rude to me.
It's very rude to you,
It's very rude to you, especially right now when COVID is surging everywhere. I am very careful what I do outside the home as I don't want to give it to DH. We did nothing over Thanksgiving and will do the same over Christmas.
We sit at home and go nowhere
We sit at home and go nowhere on weekends. I am so careful. Now he's like, I bet the skids aren't going to like sitting around all weekend. We are not going and entertaining them! They are grown and can handle sitting around a little bit! He's always concerned about entertaining them or feeding them what they want. I'm concerned about Covid. lol
I think my DH might kick me
I think my DH might kick me out if I was so cavalier about his health in that way.
WOW
Even during the pandemic it seems some disney dads will fall back on the Ol' "you hate my kids" as opposed to this is a life threatening disease. The golden skids would never pass on Covid.
It is extremely negligent on your DH's part to want them over especially due to the fact you have underlying health conditions. This will be the first christmas in years I am lucky enough not to see the Royals. There is nothing good about Covid, except for this !
My Ss is 25
So if he does something risky, we don't have to have him over. Dh has asthma so he is sticking to this.
We saw Ss and his fiance in Oct. outside on our patio just before they went on a trip out of state. We didn't see them since then.
They did reschedule their wedding that was supposed to be this month but they decided to take the honeymoon trip OUT OF THE COUNTRY!! Sooooo......we won't be seeing them at all at Christmas. Staying away for 2 weeks, wich is over Christmas.
Dh is bummed but it was their decision and I'm sure they had a GREAT time!!! I hope it was worth it..........
I did tell DH if he really
I did tell DH if he really wanted to see them today to go meet them and eat outside. He said it was too cold. I guess he really doesn't want to see them that badly. I know he's a little mad because he wants them to come hang out at the house. I just don't think that's fair.
It's not fair, and you need
It's not fair, and you need to have a Come to Jesus meeting with him. Not only could you get very sick, this is a terrible time to be in the hospital (if you were to need it) as they are stretched thin with COVID patients. He's being incredibly selfish.
Hasn't he ever heard of Zoom?
Hasn't he ever heard of Zoom? Or Skype?
"By all means DH go visit
"By all means DH go visit with your grown adult children who have no lives of their own, apparently just like you. I will make sure to have the tent pitched for you in the font yard so you can begin your quarantine for the next two weeks...what I'm being unreasonable...hmm how petty of me to want to ensure my LIFE over your need to see your children to stave off boredom!"
I mean they are already
I mean they are already coming to sleep at our house this coming weekend...no that was never run by me, but he arranged it for the holiday. I think he can wait a few more days to see them!!! I mean, they were exposed to hundreds of people this weekend!!!!!
How about you leave him to it
How about you leave him to it and go check into a comfortable hotel where you can be safe for the next 2 weeks? There are many who abide strictly to anti-COVID rules.
And charge it to his account,
And charge it to his account, of course.
Yep, for 2 weeks after every
Yep, for 2 weeks after every visit he allows from his kids.
Just NO!
Just NO!
Wow! That is concerning that
Wow! That is concerning that these people are so cavalier regarding precautions, and your spouse knows it, yet still wants to see them so often.
He is quite inconsiderate of your compromised health and even his own health. I would make certain that he sees them outside of your home after attending larger functions without masks. You should not feel in any way badly about it...that you have to address the concern HE should feel bad. It seems that he is really a piece of work with these adult kids.
In the last month I have two friends my age (just past middle age) very ill, both hospitalized with COVID and one currently in ICU there is uncertainty if she will survive. Both women healthy, fit...this disease is horrid and should be taken very seriously. I am angry for you!
If he is not going to care for your health...you need to require it for yourself. Stay healthy!
Exactly - and now the
Exactly - and now the hospitals are swamped thanks to people like her DH, who can't put aside their own needs for a while to keep others safe.
OP, maybe you should look into living elsewhere until the pandemic is over, since he's so inconsiderate.
Tog...
I could not agree more!
Those who think this is not a big deal will at some point be in for a reality call. Somehow, though, I cannot help but wonder if people like this would really care anyway.
You are not asking too much!
Your DH is risking your life with his neediness. I mean it's not like he doesn't have other means to stay in touch with them. You have every right to be safe in your home. COVID is out of control in much of the country--in some states as many as 1 in 4 people have the virus! I would ask DH why he values their lives over yours and then tell him he needs to make other living arrangements until you both are safely vaccinated. This is a HILL to not die on!
We did not see skids / grandkids at Thanksgiving and won't at Christmas because they don't take the virus seriously. I won't see my son and his family because they continue to visit his in-laws & the whole damn clan ignores the risk. I am so disappointed in my son. He puts the blame on his wife but I always correct him as this is a decision they both made.
"I would ask DH why he values
"I would ask DH why he values their lives over yours "
I hate to nitpick but I'd say "I would ask DH why he values their entertainment over your life" to drive the message home.
I find it hard to come to terms with people who do not understand how lethal this virus can be.
And how overwhelmed the
And how overwhelmed the hospitals are because of people like this.
Absolutely! And how many
Absolutely! And how many necessary operations are being postponed because of all the beds being taken up, thus putting even more people at risk. And that's without mentioning the hospital staff who have been working under incredibly difficult conditions, for incredibly long hours with no respite and who are worn threadbare - aren't they worth a thought? How dare he consider his poor darlings boredom before all of the above?
I brought my concerns up two
I brought my concerns up two weeks ago when he went to an outdoor event with the skids. I asked if they wore masks around the people there and he said no. It infuriated me. I wanted to know why he won't say anything to them. He is so afraid to hurt their feelings by actually parenting!!! He won't way a word. The younger one almost ran me off the road leaving our house one day facetiming while she was driving and I told him he needed to have a talk to her about that and he even let that slide. He feels since they don't live with him if he brings up anything to make them feel uncomfortable they won't want to visit him. It's plain ridiculous!
I say this with all due
I say this with all due respect...he is nutso and one selfish human being!
Then put your foot down. Tell
Then put your foot down. Tell him that they are not to come visit your home again until the pandemic is over, period, or you will be forced to reconsider whether or not you two can live together.
My DH would lose all trust in me if I took his immunocompromised status so lightly.
Does he have any idea how
Does he have any idea how pathetic that makes him look? How incredibly unattractive that must be to live with. You have my sympathy.
PS - If anyone puts my physical safety at risk like your SD did, I would have dealt with it immediately and let the chips fall where they may ... and it would not have been pretty. Facetiming at the wheel is incredibly stupid.
Gimlet...
I am not familiar with Happy's situation but this particular instance...I agree with you. That is really awful and says everything one would need to know about the person he is.
I apologize Happy...but this really needs to be addressed before it is too late to be.
That is sad for a good person
That is sad for a good person to feel the need to have to keep living like that...makes me
If this is an ongoing problem with no end in sight or working on himself...love yourself more Happy...don't let him do this to you. His inconsideration and disrespect in this particular situation could really be quality life or death.
Thank you! Love your support
Thank you! Love your support guys!
It’s more then rude
Rude it one thing. Trying to kill you is another thing. He doesn't understand stand that COVID can give you long lasting health problems or even death. One of Trumps aides had his leg amputated because of COVID. This is no joke
Bump
Bump
I'm the bad guy
...because I told my DH with him being high risk that flying his son to MN for a week to visit his mother & siblings, then flying back with his younger brother to CO on Christmas to stay here for a week. We live where cases have been spiking so we've been extra cautious as much as we can. Youngest SS lives in a county with double the cases we have.
I have a BS 11 & BD13 who I have 50/50 custody with their dad. He's like us & extremely cautious so I know he's not out unless he has to be and he's following all the rules.
I expressed concerns & got ignored. I broke down this week in tears & told him it wasn't safe. Hes high risk, catching this would likely kill him. I don't want to expose my kids to more germs than already occur. His ex wife thinks the virus is bs & no more serious than the flu. His daughter who's 20 thinks the same. His oldest son who lives with us thinks the same but knows in this house you follow the f'ing protocols. At her house they have people over all the time, drinking parties, play dates for their 4 year old and sleep overs etc etc etc. Its not safe, I won't risk it. So he agreed & canceled Christmas travel so world War 3 erupted with his daughter & oldest son. And look, I get it! Not seeing family sucks, missing a big family holiday sucks. But its simply not safe, airports & a household that doesn't give a shit about following safety is not something we need to invite into my home.
He tried "well I'll just get everyone tested the Monday after they come in" Testing is great sure, but it won't solve not bringing unnecessary risk to us,to him. Then he goes "Well, uh I could just drive there, its safer." Cue me going exorcist.
I'm one who promotes him seeing his kids as often as possible, but this is not the time due to the risks.
So his kids are pissed - and they don't bother trying to understand why its not safe. His daughter just goes "Well just quarantine brother away from dad then." Yeah, that is a tough thing to do in this house when everyone shares the kitchen for one thing. DH is pissed - but does understand why even though he's pissed - and I'm the asshole. And I do get it, it blows it does and I'd be heartbroken to miss the holiday with my kids so I 1000% understand. But that doesn't change my feelings on it.