So, things have been quiet for me and my home for a few weeks. Not to many complaints. Well, I came up with a few, and when I talked to BF about them.... well, I got a different perspective.

When he told me that I was just finding things to fight about and I should just relax... "it is OK if the dishes don't get done EVERY night!!"

I took a day or 2 to think about it. It was a good thing. I understand why I am doing it now after talking to the counselor...

Since my BF will not "nail down" our relationship, I cannot think about the future, I can only do things with the present. So, I come up with issues that I have more control over.

I want to go back to college. Well, if I don't have a good support system, ie: know where I am going to be in a year, I cannot truly plan for that.

So, I have been trying to just let it go. If I do the dishes at night when I get home, I think of it as taking care of my home/family instead of "why did the kids not get this done?!" and having resentment. Now, I just live life as it comes. It is NOT easy.

However, the counselor and I are going to try to get BF to come around. He is so scared that I will turn out like his ex (although he even says that I am nothing like her). He did mention 1 thing that he was worried about once... that reminded him of her about me. I just about laid him out too. I take care of my kids, I go to work, I pay my bills, I don't do drugs. Just because I laid in bed for 1 day because I didn't feel well does not mean that I am becoming like her!

So, things are pretty quiet. Just like crayon, I feel like I have my BF back. We have talked more and had more "us" time. Being non-dramatic can be nice.

Even all the steps are getting along well. BF is not singling out SD10 as much, doing more with SS12. This has been an upturn!!!

I am sure it is nice to hear good things on here too. I always like to follow up the bad with a good... it is more realistic!!!

Praying that it keeps going in the right direction...