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Two weeks old

fizzyfuzzy's picture

So my baby is two weeks old today. He's my first biological kid and for the first time since I've been a SM have I really realized how horrible the step kids biological mom's are. I CANNOT grasp the concept that they just leave their kids. One of the BM's only gets her son (my SS14) like once a month and usually can't pick him up until REALLY late and he was just there for four days and he didn' thave a shower the ENTIRE time he was there and he came back smelling like DIRTY cigarettes and she doesn't wash his clothes, which he puts in the laundry and makes our laundry room and all the other clothes in there smell like cigarettes... And she usually drops him off at her sisters house, so she doesn't even really see him.
The other BM only sees her kids in supervised visits, two hours once a month and one of her kids won't even see her. She left her kids MULTIPLE times before we finally got her on supervised vitis. She left them and their dad (my now DH) when her youngest was 9 months old (he's 8 now). She did actually call the other day (from an unknown number, she hasn't given us a phone number or physical address in three years) for the first time in TWO YEARS!! I totally lied and told her the kids weren't here, but they were glad I lied they didnt' want to talk to her.
I just can't wrap my head around it, especially now that I have my own kid. I can't imagine only seeing him on the weekends or once a month or whatever, it's just not an option for me and I don't see how the BM's can be okay with this. And you can't tell me they aren't because neither of them put up a fight for more and I KNOW I'd fight to see my baby. And SS14's mom could have him every weekend and he could even live with her but she chooses neither.
I just can't wrap my head around it.
Dawn

Comments

goingcrazy's picture

It is merely that some people are good parents and some are not. When you have that feeling that you would NEVER let anyone come between you and your child, you would fight to the death... then you know which side you fall on.

Congrats again on becoming a bio mommy. Welcome to the world of dual role mom!!!!!

Colorado Girl's picture

you'll drive yourself nuts....it's like trying to understand a serial killer. I like GoingCrazy's statement "It is merely that some people are good parents and some are not." A lot of us here are here just because of that reason - if some BMs could just put the children's needs first instead of their own....we could all just be good parents instead of arguing all the time.

Big kisses to Isaac! Again.....

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Tiffany's picture

I am now a bio mom to an 11 month old little boy and cannot fathom how my 6 year old SD's bio mom goes for 1 1/2 to 2 year sprints of time without seeing her and maybe just calling a couple times and sending an occasional card. I have wondered how she rationalizes it to herself and what does she tell people that she meets or her friends or her new hubby? oh by the way I have a kid that I never see and I don't pay child support to help because I don't feel like I should??