freaking out right now...
We just found out SS10's bm set him up a facebook account with a fake name and age. SS is 10 and can't spell really well, so he doesn't know his password or even his login name...bm will not answer phone - it's been 2 days of calling. When she thinks we're on to her for something - anything, she avoids us at all costs...I was looking at bm's wall and saw SS's online activity during her visits...most of his activity is at 3 a.m....I absolutely hate this woman for her stupidity...then last night I ask SS who he talks to online at 3 a.m., he tells me he's been talking to a man who is 33 supposedly about where to download the best movies online...and the man is strangely patient for wanting to wait an hour while SS types 4 words...the man is a friend of bm, I looked up his record, no sexual assaults, but he robs houses and steals a car every couple years... and worst of all solicitation/murder. So I am freaking out right now...I cannot access the account, facebook won't help because I want the password to see what this man is saying at 3 a.m....basically facebook will CONSIDER deleting my 10 year old ss's account. This is really sick. How can I involve authorities if I have no proof of anything sexual...I'm pretty sure nothing like that is going on , but what kind of man sits at his computer at 3 a.m. to talk to a 10 year old boy? Should I even be thinking that way?
I want to add, nothing we say or do will prevent bm from allowing him online again, she will only hide it better. That is her way.
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I agree, I didn't consider
I agree, I didn't consider that. I'm going to try to print it out. I can only see ss's activity on bm's wall, and as soon as dh contacts her, she'll just hide her wall. I better get on it.
Unfortunately it's not
Unfortunately it's not illegal for someone with a criminal record to A. be on FB and B. to contact a child who is also on FB.
It is however against FB rules for anyone under the age of 13 (I believe) to have an account so your should report the account to FB so that they can delete it. Of course BM will probably just make SS another one and be sneaky about it so you can't find it. Is BM one of those people who "friends" ramdom people just to make it look like she has lots of "friends" or is this man personally known by her?
According to facebook's help
According to facebook's help page, they will consider blocking it if they think the child is under 13. The site says, if they cannot verify the child's age, then they will not delete it.
So, if bm set up a fake name for him, with a fake birthday, what is facebook going to do? Basically nothing.
So I just re-read this and
So I just re-read this and I'm confused... if SS does not know his login or his password, then it stands to reason that BM must have been the one to sign him in at 3 AM. Are you sure that SHE is not using that account for some reason?
Lol, not unless she is into
Lol, not unless she is into dragon ball z cartoons and wrestling guys...His login is stored on her computer. He says all he has to do is left click the keyboard under the touch scroll pad a few times, and the computer goes through the list of the family's logons until he sees his. A double tap and he's in. I guess I'm not keeping up with technology much, because I didn't know such a process existed, lol. I do not doubt at all that she is up with him at 3 a.m. Every night is a party over there. Wish we had something to celebrate.
Yeah, I know the man has a
Yeah, I know the man has a right to be on fb no matter what, I was just trying to show the character of the man a little bit. BM friends many people, but my ss has commented about this man before, last year, the man was rolling doobies with bm's boyfriend (who's going to jail soon for possession/marijuana along with bm (another dui(both felons) and my ss came home and proudly showed me how to roll a fatty. We reported that to the police, showed them screenshots of bm's gang activity, and the police spoke with ss about the danger of drugs, we put ss in therapy, and that was about all that could be done apparantly, because the word of a child means squat in court, or so we were advised. Our lawyer suggested a strongly worded letter conveying to bm that a boy ss's age shouldn't know how to roll a joint. A lot of good that did. She still says to this day that her son is a liar... Maybe if we start dealing more with dcfs, more could be done,to scare her at least, but honestly, it will only make bm better at hiding stuff - and SS10 is becoming quite an accomplished liar himself to cover up for her. He loves her more than anything.
Dcfs generally keeps the mother child relationship going when it's just marijuana. She has lost one child in the past, got her back as soon as she took a parenting class. Some people do not change, unfortunately. Anyway, I guess it's all these horrible things this woman has done that make us panic over seemingly small things like facebook. I just wish life was different for ss, and for our family.
Good Lord... kind of sounds
Good Lord... kind of sounds like my SS12.5 who has already admitted (to SD13.5) that he has smoked pot, DH found a text message on SS phone last week from some 30 year old man, telling SS how he was super stoned on Vicodin, SS got caught shoplifting a couple of months ago, BM is dating some 20 year old guy that we know nothing about (other than the fact that he is a mere 3 months older than BMs 20 year old son) DH is just at his wits end dealing with this crap and feeling so out of control when it comes to what SS is doing.
DH actually said the other day that he feels like it's HIS fault that SS seems to be spiraling out of control. I called bullsh*t on that one... come on... SS is with BM 98% of the time (well at least under her so called "care") and with DH 2% of time. BM is the one who should be bearing the weight of SS f*ck ups here, not DH but according to her she is MOTY dontcha know.
It's frustating to watch the train wreck happen right before your eyes.
12.5 is so young. I'm sorry
12.5 is so young. I'm sorry to hear that. Our fear is that the same will happen to ss10. And the train wreck frustration...dh has said that a few times. It's not your dh's fault...at 12, kids are starting to be old enough to start their own path. It's just not fair that there are so many distractions along the way. It's hard when parents are the distraction, also.
Do you know how awkward it is
Do you know how awkward it is to hear your 10 year old say "MOFO"? That's another one of the guys he chats with.
Could it be her checking on
Could it be her checking on his accnt? My son created one (with my monitoring)...and I have FULL access (login/password), and have gone and deleted friend requests or skanky girls and kids that use innapropiate language or abbreviations for it also