Let me say that I am 22 years into my marriage with DH. He had 2 sons and a daughter and I had one son. We had one son together.  His are ages 36, 34 and 30. Mine is 28 and ours is 18. From the beginning the step children's mother was a lunatic..she talked about me like I was a dog. To the kids. I vented about her to DH NEVER to her kids. I always had the thought that one day they'd see who the jerk was. The now 34 yo (the only girl) has always been an issue. The two boys did see the light and now call me mom they have nothing to do with their mom. I love them like they were mine.