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In event of your death

Doesnteatcrow's picture

Submitted by Doesnteatcrow on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:56am

My father died this week and left us with no instructions or a will. Granted he didn't have many things, it has caused a lot of stress. So I jumped on legal zoom and started my will. But, got hung up on how to handle my stepsons.

I really don't have much either- but, I do have a bio-son ( their half brother). I don't want to crave everything into 3rds. I do have one bracelet I would like to go to my middle stepson. Why- it is a chamila and it was his idea to get it for me. And the beads are mainly all picked out by him. My engagement ring was my husbands grandmothers and I have another diamond of my mother in laws. My oldest stepson is handicapped and has autism so I would have to leave anything to his trust.

Any thoughts on how you guys handled any of this?

Comments

mimi719's picture

Submitted by mimi719 on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 1:21pm

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Do what you feel is right for now, then put a calendar reminder to update it in a year. At least get the will done.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 5:23pm

I'm so sorry about your Dad. (((HUGS)))

I'd encourage DH to write up something that makes extensive provisions for your oldest SS and how he will be cared for (even if he is an adult when DH dies). And he should make provisions for what will happen to the younger kids if anything happens to him while they are minors.

Leave whatever you want to whomever you want. I like the idea of you leaving your middle SS the bracelet-I think that would mean the world to him. If there's something you think your youngest SK would like, leave that to them. I think your DH has the responsibility to make sure his things are distributed equally amongst all the kids. However, you do not.

not.the.crazy.one's picture

Submitted by not.the.crazy.one on Mon, 01/14/2013 - 8:01am

If it's something that is just mine that has nothing to do with DH or skids, it goes to my bios. Which is pretty much everything right now. DH will get some money, but most of it will go to my bio children. When bios are grown up, the money might change a little. I don't plan on leaving anything to skids.

The way I see it is that skids will inherit from both of their parents. My bios will only inherit from me. My jewelry and personal things and business things will go to bios. If DH had proposed with a family member's engagement ring or we had a heirloom wedding ring set, then I would let skids have that so it stays in their family. Or if DH ever gave me a piece of family jewelry. If we ever buy a house together, it can get split four ways.

So anything that comes to me from DH's family will go to skids. Anything we buy together gets split between skids and bios. Anything that is just mine goes to my bios. Money gets split between DH and my bios.

That seems fair to me.

Edit - I have a necklace that I've had for years (way before I met DH) that is a personal, special, piece of religious jewelry. It wasn't expensive at all, but it means something to me. My BD17 and I share the same religion and I promised it to her when she has her first child. It's the only jewelry other than my wedding ring that I wear ALL the time. I let BD17 wear it when she's really upset or for special occasions. I let DH wear it when he asked for something personal of mine to wear, but made sure he knew that it was special to me and that it's meant for BD17 later on. He didn't like that, but I've since gotten it back from him and won't be letting him wear it again. Besides, it's a pagan piece that represents the three stages of a woman's life...I don't understand why a man would WANT to wear it.