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This is so transparent, I have to laugh!

childlessSM's picture

Submitted by childlessSM on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 11:30am

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Long story short: my husband's daughter and I sometimes go to the local bead store to make jewelry together. It's our special thing.

We make little bracelets for each other, family, and friends. Every time, I have her make something for her mom.

But ... her mom complains to my husband. She says I'm making her daughter "materialistic." She says I should "back off." We ignore her.

This week, my husband's daughter showed me a new bracelet. It's just like the one I made her for Christmas, except this one says "Mommy loves __" instead of "ChildlessSM loves __" in little alphabet beads.

I was surprised to hear that her mom took her to the bead store, but happy for my husband's daughter, who loves going there. I was saddened to hear that the bracelet I made her apparently "broke" the day she got her new bracelet from her mom.

It's almost too transparent to believe. I have to laugh!

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Submitted by childlessSM on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 11:41am

Exactly. If the kids are happy, that's what matters. If what we do on our own time "steps on toes" and that inspires their mom to "step it up," that's great.

Just occurred to me: maybe THAT's why they call us "step" moms! Ha.

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Submitted by childlessSM on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 11:43am

This also happened this week: I left a little note in my husband's daughter's backpack, telling her she'll be great at the talent show. She texted me a photo of my note - on her mom's fridge! Odd.

I honestly don't know if her mom is trying to turn over a new leaf and be more open or if she's playing some kind of game. Doesn't matter - her daughter seems happy, and that's what matters.

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Submitted by cctree82 on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 9:58am

Totally agree, the BM told DH two nights ago that she was glad I was in the kids' lives b/c they like me and talk about me all the time and she's thankful I'm so good to them, blah, blah, blah....but not two weeks ago when SS8 was having surgery she threw a fit b/c she found out I was planning to come to the surgery to support DH. I mean....what?? Then when DH rode over to BM house to visit SS8 with me in the car, she acted all surprised that I didn't want to come in HER house...right in front of SS8! Well played, BM, well played...

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Submitted by misSTEP on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 1:46pm

Reminds me of when I kept bringing up to DH that either he or BM needed to go get SD some training bras because she was sticking out and I didn't want my 2 years older DS to be around that. (I didn't care if BM wanted her dressing like a mini-slut but I didn't need it around MY son)

DH told BM because he felt like that was her territory. Still nothing changed.

I finally took her myself to get some. She picked out some she liked. BUT never wore them (I didn't realize this until years later when I found them stuffed between the mattresses). However, the next time she came down, she was wearing a training bra.

Whatever worked, was my thought.

childlessSM's picture

Submitted by childlessSM on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 4:26pm

I had nearly the exact experience with my husband's daughter and her first bra.

Whatever works for the kiddo, just like you said.

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Submitted by childlessSM on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 4:28pm

Women are funny, no doubt.

Lifting our legs and marketing our territory with bracelets, bras, and nail polish!

(Gray nail polish is awesome, btw.)

childlessSM's picture

Submitted by childlessSM on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 4:43pm

I'm trying to keep my sense of humor ("women are funny," as derb8412 said).

I'm also trying to be zen about it. So my husband's daughter enjoyed something new with her mom, something she likes that I brought into her life. That's a GOOD thing!

As the Buddha said, “Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”