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My opinion on 'daddy date' with ADULT D = The Silent Treatment

distorted reality's picture

Well it seems I've stepped in shit for the moment, lmao Biggrin .

SO had a 'daddy date' planned with adult D (23) and I had the audacity to question the reasons behind it..... silent treatment since yesterday.

Adult D has nothing to do with SO unless he plays 'the wallet.' If he treats her to a shopping trip, movies, dinner, etc. she is all over him like stink on shit. Otherwise, she refuses to see him. (Oh so much like her skanky mother.) I knew something was up b/c D has been calling and texting him like a mad woman, (just like BM) so I asked what was up. SO tells me that he has a planned day with D. I say, 'WTF, a daddy date?' He immediately goes on the offensive. He asked me point blank if I thought there was something wrong with it. Of course I say, Hell to the yes! I explain the numerous conversations about how adult D wants nothing to do with him unless he's spending obscene amounts of money (money he DOES NOT HAVE) on her. He then tells me that he... 'knows she is a lost cause but, wants a relationship with her no matter what.' I was shocked and really had nothing to say after that. I guess my silence upset him b/c I have not heard from him since. Oh my, the silent treatment! Puh-leeze.... something more original :sick: .

I have my business calls forwarded to my home phone and my cell phone turned OFF. Let's see how he likes it when he decides to call and I just don't answer. Personally, I am growing tired of the bullshit and ya know what? For once, it's time for a night out with the girls, lol. Dirol
You never know, I could meet up with a (childless) Adonis.

Keep your fingers crossed ladies!!!

Smile

Comments

Eyes Wide Open's picture

LMAO! How funny is this?! I share your life! I love the part where DH gets defensive and asks you if you "think there is something wrong with it", which probably means he has misgivings, too, but is going along with it because a crappy-ass relationship with the ungrateful adult SD is better than none. WHAT is wrong with these fathers?! Are they so desperate for a realationship with their daughters (not so much their sons) that they will toss their pride to the curb just for a crumb of their kids' life?

distorted reality's picture

LMAO! I actually said something similar to SO once. I got the silent treatment for 2 weeks! :O

Wonder how long this one will go??? :?

distorted reality's picture

Apparently the answer to your question is.... YES. They will toss everything to the curb for the attention and adulation of their kids. I honestly believe that they only ask, 'do you think something is wrong with it' to push OUR boundaries.

"Hell yes, I have a problem with your catering to your ADULT child's bullshit behavior!!!!"
Apparently, that is all that is necessary to assume that you WON'T CATER TO THEIR BULLSHIT BEHAVIOR. It must be a prerequisite to any OTHER relationship these supposed 'MEN' think they have.

Not me.... not today... not any day!

Let's see him curl up next to his bitch of a D at the end of a hard day and tell HER how bad a day he had. Ummmm.... NOPE! Just keep handing out those dollar bills DADDY!

Makes me want to :sick: !

Still, going out with my best gals and HOPING for a (childless) MAN..... and not some over the hill has been who kisses child ASS!

LMMFAO! Biggrin

distorted reality's picture

See, the situation you speak of here, is a totally different animal. It's not the all out 'guilt ridden daddy-date' to an adult who will only spend time with you when the wallet is open and dollars are flowing freely. Wink

I myself, have been out to dinner with my father before (maybe SM was out on her own or not feeling well, etc.) Many times my dad grabs the check before I can get it. Again, totally different. My attention to my father does not hinge upon how much money he will spend on me. I have an awesome relationship with him, no matter what. I don't ignore him or refuse to see him if he doesn't PAY UP. This is where my heartburn is.

I ask this question, would this daddy date be happening if SO were still married to BM??? NOPE!

Grrrr.... no calls from SO since Friday morning. What an A$$!!!!! :jawdrop:

giveitago's picture

The sun shines out of SKid's asses every morning!! There has to be no 'negativity' in our house according to DH, let's be 'positive' and reinforce good behaviors. I agree with positive reinforcement, what I do not agree with is NO CONSEQUENCES!! DH is passive with that one and believes that the natural consequences suffice. I would agree if the kids even had a perception of a natural consequence, they dont! If they had a concept of natural consequences then maybe they would not do the same stupid things over and over again? I'm a fairly laid back sort of person and misdemeanors are something you can expect with kids, we were all kids at one time...right? One day he told me, after I refused to comply with SD's demands, as a consequence for her disrespect. DH allowed her to circumvent me, telling me after the fact 'I am not rewarding the bad behavior, I am just not punishing them.' Well, I was aghast! I do understand that some kids just sit and plot revenge during a time out or a punishment, I also believe that kids are not fully equipped to do much introspection as teens, which is WHY THERE SHOULD BE CONSEQUENCES! Sorry to shout that out but I am feeling unheard here. I did step back a lot, let them go to hell in a handbasket if they want to but they are not taking me with them! I forgive quickly but I do not forget. I disengaged, a lot, set my own boundaries with everyone here and there were fewer fights between DH and I... and the kids will grow up regardless! Shame DH is now seeing, and having to deal with, all the crap I told him would occur if he did not take the kids in hand...I will NOT pick up after them, I will NOT shield them from the law, I will NOT instruct them what to do any more. I love them all very much and I'll love them all better when they are independant of us. Have at it kiddos!! I'd reccomend letting DH deal with SKids BS on his own, focus on being a wife and only support decisions you agree with...tell him you can agree to differ, works like a charm! SKids got the tough love they needed and I gained more respect. It was a bit of a rough ride for a while though, I would never tell anyone it's easy.

stpmom2b's picture

Odd. My dad and I go to lunch or something sometimes and I always want to pay for him! My parents did enough for me growing up!