Really? The silent treatment?

Sometimes DH has the maturity of a teenage girl. The silent treatment when I did nothing wrong. Like he thinks that's a punishment??*dash1*

Old sm's blog
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Laughing

My DH does this once in awhile, too. Boo boo, all I think is "Peace and quiet for awhile!"

LOL - but you're supposed to

LOL - but you're supposed to feel punished!! I'm sure it chaps his behind when you go on your merry way and ignore it.

Going on my merry way is exactly what got my DH to finally stop going through what I called "slumps." He'd pull inward and not talk much, if at all and have a foul look on his face. I realized that he was doing it to "whip me back into shape," or anyone else he wanted to go back to status quo. SS30 and I had enough of DH's shit, so we just went on our merry way. We went overboard to show that we went on our merry way and ignored DH right back. I even took DD22 (around 11 at the time) on a trip and DH did not like that at all. He never pulled his "slump" again.

I used to get the silent

I used to get the silent treatment from my first husband. It is an abusive tactic, generally employed by emotionally stunted people who have few social skills and can be indicative of a degree of narcissism. Having got out of that relationship, I doubt I would be able to stomach someone doing it to me on a regular basis.

Edited to add - if you need quiet time eg after an argument that's OK I suppose - but it's considerate to tell your partner this, not just refuse to speak to them. My exH refused to speak to me for 2 YEARS - no kidding. If I walked into a room, he'd walk out! Little surprise really that I left him, huh?

WOW!! 2 years!!???

Dang. My partner doesn't go fully silent. Just the cold shoulder, but he will respond if I speak to him. Might be short responses, but I just ignore the behavior and go on with my life. That usually shortens the cold shoulder BS.

Kes, is your ex still alive,

Kes, is your ex still alive, or has someone done the world a favor and euthanized him? I'm so glad you found the strength to get away from that waste of skin.

Hey, Julie,

The ‘silent treatment’ was a mode of abuse that I refused to tolerate. After more than 15 minutes of yon manipulative nonsense from my ex-husband, I would, invariably, blow my top. Once divorce was imminent, my ex discovered that his rebuffs were far more painful to him than they were to me but, sadly for the spoiled infant, too little too late.

Good on you, Granny. Sounds

Good on you, Granny. Sounds like you schooled him and then put out the trash.

He died in his mid 60s at the

ExJulie - he died in his mid 60s at the beginning of 2020 after suffering with Lewy Body dementia for a few years, maybe the karma bus got him?

I will allow someone some

I will allow someone some time to deal with their issue.. with me.. with work.. whatever.. but if someone just stopped talking to me "for no reason".. and it went beyond a day or so, I would make them address it.

Look, I don't know if I have done something to upset you.. or whether there is something else going on in your life causing you sadness or stress... but not being willing to communicate with your wife for days is punitive behavior. If I have done something you don't approve of, at this point, you need to let me know what it was because I have zero clue what this is all about. If it is about some other unrelated to me issue.. maybe I could be helpful in talking through it. But, at this point, you have had X days to figure out how to deal with what is bugging you.. if you can't do this on your own.. I suggest you seek therapy because I'm not going to continue to live like we are in a monastary.

There is nothing wrong with

There is nothing wrong with someone being quiet so they can work through things, like ESMOD said. But if that is someone's style, they need to be able to say "I need some quiet time right now". I'll let someone be quiet for as long as they need so long as they express that they need it.

But just going silent in order to punish someone is toxic. It's meant to illicit a reaction out of another person and get them to change behavior. While it's certainly not as dangerous as someone who physically abuses someone else because "they made them mad", it's in that same ballpark of using punishment to illicit a desired response. It's gross, and I'd call that crap out right away.

I just ignore it

I remember when we were first married his little "titty fits" as I think of them would reduce me to tears.

Now, I'm older; our kids are out of the house; I OWN the house and I'm financially independent from him. He can have his little "manopause" moments for what little it affects me now. I just ignore him or continue to talk to him like nothing is wrong just to get his goat a little. Then he gets over it.

It just amazes me at almost 60 and 25+ years of marriage, he can still act like an immature child thinking he's actually punishing me when it really has no impact at all.