..and so it begins..*sigh*
Was talking to DH yesterday and he brought up SD20 coming "home" from University. I asked him when she's coming. He said some time next week. I asked him where she is staying. He said, well with us for a "couple of days", because she wants to go turkey hunting. I told him that is not going to work especially after her disrespectful text to me back in August and the fact that we are currently remodeling and have no vanity in upstairs bathroom, so I have been having to use the downstairs bathroom to get ready in the morning. DH said, "Yeah, I'll just tell her that the house is torn up and she'll have to go stay at her mothers or MILs or something." He said hopefully she would get a turkey her first day home and could leave after that. So this leads me to believe that SHE thinks she's staying with us all summer.. until DH supposedly tells her different??
Why the fruck hasn't he already made this clear?? Why the fruck does he need to pussyfoot around why she can't stay with us? Why the fruck does she even need to be at my house ONE day?? Why the fruck would she even WANT to be at my house, after what she said to me??
Already planning how I'm going to get all my things out of that bathroom because I don't want her touching or using ANYTHING of mine because she'll of course think she can help herself. So now I'm going to have to hide my shit in BS8 room, just like the old days and trudge up and down the stairs with it every freaking morning. I hate this stupid bitch and don't want to ever see her stupid face again. And I really dislike my DH right now, for not having any balls. And of course I can see the fighting in our near future. Our lives are peaceful and full of fun and love... until this bitch comes to town. UGH.
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Nope
No is a complete sentence. You are under no obligation to allow rude disrespectful adults into your home. It is long past time but this girl needs to get consequences for her behavior and she needs to be told that by your DH.
DH's argument is that we'll
DH's argument is that we'll hardly see her.... and he may be right... they'll have left to go turkey hunting before I even get up in the morning and then I'll be at work by the time they get home. Then she'll sleep all afternoon and maybe get up about the time I get home from work and she'll want to flit off with friends or her sisters or something. I'm torn between I feel like I'm being unreasonable and no, no, no, no!!!!!!!! I just don't want her invading my home which is my sanctuary.. my safe space! And I don't understand how he expects me to look at her much less be civil with her after what she said to me
She's got a lot of nerve,
She's got a lot of nerve, expecting to stay in your home after all of the crap she's said to you, through text or otherwise. Your husband has a lot of nerve, also, thinking that you would be okay with it.
OH NO!!! I made it clear to
OH NO!!! I made it clear to my DH that SS33 was NEVER to set foot in our home - even if I was out of town.
SS and his GF could be bleeding to death out in the street and I would step over them. They are invisible to me.
Please don't back down, Daizy
Please don't back down, Daizy. It's SS,DD if you do.
Tell your DH that there is unfinished business between you and SD, and that it must be addressed before things can move forward. Short, simple, suitable for the male brain. If he balks, remind him of the respect you show him by never inviting his ex friend over.
It won't change your SD one whit, but it just might sink in that messing with you = inconvenience for her. And that might lead her to avoid being around you, which is a neater solution than depending on your DH to have boundaries.
You are such a sweet, loving person, and you've put up with quite a lot from your DH's bottom feeder baggage over the years. However, at a certain point you have to protect you and yours from the drama and dysfunction of your DH's past mistakes. He's weak, avoids conflict, and vacilates so you have to be the firm and consistent one.
My DH and I have learned over the years that without fail, when we let his family inside our protective bubble, we come to regret it. He made bad choices in his youth and as a parent, and there's a cost to that.
No. The answer is no. But
No. The answer is no. But more than just because you don't want her there. Is the art of communication really dead? Why would your husband agree that his DD could stay there for any amount of time without talking to you first, especially after you have made it perfectly clear you don't want her around. This isn't a small child. If he wants to spend time with her, he can go to dinner with or on a walk or to the mall for heaven's sake. There is no need for her to stay at your home when she has been so unkind.