Am I Wrong?!!!?
So..alright....where do I start? I have 3 kids from a previous marriage and now I have picked up 2 more since I've remarried. So in total my daughter-13 stepson-11 my son-7 stepson-7 and my son-5. For the most part we and they all get along great. The 2 seven year olds have been best friends since they met. I coach them in baseball and they are the all-stars and very athletic. The 11 and 5 year old both kinda do their thing but the 5 year old usually ends up with the 7 year olds acting crazy or hanging out with me (awesome dad *preved ). My daughter is miss middle school AP classes , straight A's, cheerleader, cool chick and is always hanging out with me and my wife. My 7 year olds(my son and stepson) both make straight A's and excel in sports and are both STAR accelerated readers for second grade. Then comes the whole reason I need to vent....... the 11 yo. This child is lazy, whinny, unathletic, crybaby, does stupid STUPID crap, and just plain.....ignorant. He is failing most classes not because he doesn't do the work right. Oh no he only does about 50% of the school work the rest he balls up and throws in his book bag. I work late and we usually have sports as soon as I get off(only let him play I hopes it motivates him) so I ask when we are loading equipment if homework is done and of course yes sir. Get his progress report failing. So I've grounded him. He played no sports last year and no xbox nor a phone or tv. For the whole summer. Not just becaus of grades but because of the stupid crap he pulls. I took the kids all of them to the shooting range and let the lm plink around with some small caliper carbines I have. So the next Monday I take the 2 step kids to school and the ammo is still in the backseat of my truck. I tell the 11 yo don't mess with it and DONT TAKE ANY IN TO SCHOOL!!! It's crazy now days with that shit. Sure as you know what I hadn't been at work an hour my wife calls freaking out the cops have the 11 yo in custody at the school. Why you say??? HE TOOK A FREAKING BULLET TO SCHOOL. PUT IT IN THE BATHROOM TOLD A TEACHER HE SAW IT IN THERE. THEN......THEN.......TOLD THE TEACHER HE WAS THE ONE THAT PUT IT IN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! So yea there's that. So anyways add about 4 or 5 more of those types of scenarios and multiple parent teacher conferences and here we are today. Today....well actually these last few weeks, hell maybe month this child is causing a very very serious stress on my marriage. My wife thinks I'm to hard on him and too demanding because he's "special" which is bull crap because that kids can manipulate better than anyone I've seen so he's not stupid. He thinks it's cool to be the bad kid because real father made it to 9th grade at 18 and dropped out and played the bad kid card until the last year or so now he's trying to straighten up. But I expect my kids and even the 7 yo stepson to perform at best in school and all to push in sports have fun but you're there to win. Oh oh speaking of sports the 11 year old is slowest in the team puts no effort into playing. Goofs off in the dugout just freaking and 6 year old stuck in an 11 year old body. So after my vent here that I could probably keep going on, am I wrong for being fed up with this kid? Should I give up? Like the big D has came up between me and his mother and at this point if he doesn't go somewhere I don't think I can live with him.
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i just can't today.
Oh come on
You know this will be entertaining.
In a word yes
He's a tween boy, u are the adult. The point of sports at that age should be to learn basic skills, and how to collaborate and work with others, not just winning. I wonder if he sits in the dug out because in your focus to win you only put him in, at deep right or left field, for the league mandated play time. He knows how u feel about him.
and I agree with posters above. You are not a safe gun owner if u are not securing weapons/ammo at all times. I am surprised u weren't charged with child endangerment.
ETA: yep lives in Alabama, not shocked.
if I were your wife I would divorce u. I wouldn't want you anywhere near my kid.
Lol
Yep the bullets jumped right up and killed someone. Looks like the libs have this page. First I'm a a combat veteran of the United States Marine Corp. Enough said about securing my weapon. The weapon was secured on my right hip. The box of ammo was in a ammo can. And I see all you guys saw was sports that's the least of his worries. What about stealing money from his mother and me? What about the countless hours I've spent with him trying to show him simple life skills. I expect greatness from my children and 4 of 5 deliver not because it's easy it's because they try. They work for it. They want to be the best and will tell you. I don't know what fairytale land you guys live in but my kids are raised to be leaders not followers. I've coached baseball for 5 years with 4 championships so I'll still with that motto. And for the one that has something to say about Alabama, bud let me tell you just because we sound slow doesn't mean we are. So I'm guessing you guys hand out participation trophy's to everyone? You guys act like I hate the kid, I'm tired of his bad attitude, his laziness, bullying in school. No one touched those just wanted to call me a bad parent. Although the other 4 do what they are supposed to do and more.
Try not to be overly
Try not to be overly defensive. People saw a lot about sports because you, yourself, spent a good amount of time in your post discussing it. It is clear that you do value a competitivee spirit.. you value sports. I am not saying that it is wrong to want to win, but not everyone will feel that same need as deeply. Also, sometimes when someone is insecure or knows their ability is not going to measure up.. they go to oher ploys to cover it up. They tell people they don't care.. the act the class clown etc...
There is probably some amount of difficulty this kid has as the black sheep amongst the kids. Now, I'm not saying it's ok that he slacks on his schoolwork.. but he probably needs support from his mother for doing his work so that he experiences success. Right now, it seems like he is giving up because he can't seem to win anyway.
The other behavior is attention seeking. He won't be the first kid to pull a stunt like that. My dad was military and my brother tried to blow up the toilet at our high school within the first two weeks of attendance at our new school assignment when he was 12. Pretty mortifiying for my parents. but it was a story my dad told him that gavehim the idea...so....
I think everyone is wrong to write the kid off at 11. I also think it's important to understand that no everyone can achieve the same things.. or have the same goals. I think his mother needs to be spending more time helping him to figure out how to get his schoolwork done.. and help him figure out what his interests may be.. sports just may not be it for him.
I know it's hard to not compare these kids...but they are individuals.. even the 11 yo. If he has special needs.. mom needs to see that they are addressed.. if he needs more hands on help wih his schoolwork.. she should be doing it.
BTW... very much not liberal... but I'm sure you now know that with kids.. their brain doesn't always engage... so adults do need to be more vigilant.
If that kid is lucky, his
If that kid is lucky, his mother will divorce you ASAP.
I am as pro kid as can be but your description of your daughter made me roll my eyes.