Sometimes it just all comes together well.
I always expect some strife, or some issue with SDs, but my disengaging is WORKING! DP is stepping up and SDs behaviour the last several weeks has been pretty good.

* Last Friday, movie night with SDs. They thought the movie we had was "way too scary." (they have zero tolerance for anything that may remotely be in any way other than daisies and rainbows) So we let them watch a show they like. Happiness in the end. I went to read my book.
* Saturday we went to do errands which took longer than expected and SDs were cool with that. I think they liked the 'adventure.' SD11 had a little meltdown with clothing but DP and I played tag team and solved the issue. SD11 was happy in the end.
* Sunday SD9's best friend couldn't come over. DP kept saying "Maybe later" instead of "She can't come over today" so SD9 kept asking when she'd be there. I finally just told her flat out, "She's with her family today she's not coming, find something to do." So whining stopped and she found something to do. Imagine that.
* Went to see a couple homes for sale with SDs and a realtor. DP and I had talked to them about "ground rules" and they did well. Only had to tell SD11 one time to "back off and let us talk." And then cool her off again at dinner after she copped an attitude about house purchasing and HER opinion. Let her know HER opinion is essentially meaningless to our decision. Her room color, totally her choice.
* Got a personal serenade and gave a little sheet music reading lesson to SD9 on her recorder. She's interested in the flute now.

We'll have them Wed/Thurs evenings again this week, and I'll be out with a friend this Wednesday so will really only see them Thurs night. No worries there either!