So last weekend was Easter here and it was a freaking nightmare. The SDs caused havoc and acted like total idiots. DH and I had a major fight because of all the havoc. I lost my mind. I could go into the details but the individual stuff is just stupid.

First off on Saturday, DH told the kids numerous times to stay off the HUGE boulders we have in our yard, that we haven't been able to move yet. They (SD's and my BD) decided to get on them anyways.

I came outside to help DH in the yeard and found the SD's and my BD sliding down the basketball hoop that is laying on the ground. I said to DH "Is this ok with you? They can get hurt and it's stupid." DH says "no but they do what they want". So the SDs heard the whole conversation and SD11 then looked at me and did it again, as if to defy me.

I yelled "get the hell off it now". Yes I lost it. How in the hell do you look at me and do something you aren't suppose to be doing at freaking 11 years old? DH and I went on working in the yard, I look over and DH says "see". SD9 and BD10 were jumping on the boulders, I told them to get in the house. I looked over and there is SD11 jamming sticks on the rocks sitting in front of her. I told her to get in the house and sit down too. SD11 just sat there and look at me like I was stupid. I told her now. SD11 huffed off into the house.

Backstory on the sticks, they had already been told NOT TO PLAY with STICKS. So they were all defying DH. I made them come in and sit down. DH then came in and talked to them about what they had been doing. SD11 pipes up (as always) with I wasn't doing xyz, lies all lies. BD10 was sitting there looking irritated (being bratty, my kid and yes she was being bratty too). SD9 was looking like no one was talking to her and she had no idea what was going on.

So like maybe 10 minutes later SD9 just gets up and says "daddddiieie can we get up now". DH says "ask SM". I told them my rule is I told you to sit and I will tell you when you can get up. I then waited like 5 minutes and went and addressed each of them about their behavior.

I said to my kid "what is your problem. you were told not to do it. If you keep misbehaving you will be staying at your dad's the next time" (yes I know, not a thing to say but every other punishment isn't working right now and I got fedup).

I said to SD11 "you are older than both of them, what is up with you. Why are you doing stuff that you can get hurt. You already have medical issues, you break doing normal stuff. That's insane and you know better" SD11 was rolling her eyes. I wanted to smack the eyes out of her head but I refrained.

I said to SD9 "you could have gotten hurt, broke your leg. Do you think YOUR MOM would want us to send you home with a broken leg". She said "noooooooo" in her ultra whiney ass voice that's like nails on a chalkboard.

So they were all told they could get up. SD11 storms off out the door, like she's a damn adult and can do anything she wants. The other two go outside to play. SD11 is now storming off in the woods. DH leaves the house to go and KISS HER ASS as usual.

So this isn't the end of what happened that weeked but a snippet. I went off on DH and yes I should have waited but I couldn't. DH went into the girls room once the wonderful princess came back in, to tell them to clean up. He decided to get pissed off and take all my daughter's toys and put them in a trashbag and take them because his little shits, play with my BD10's stuff not theirs.

So DH went back in and I followed because I'm furious now. DH pulls out a pair of SHITTY UNDERWEAR out of the closet, are you fucking serious??? I was the one storming out this time and as I did I said VERY LOUDLY "If one more pair of shitty underwear are found in this house.....IM MOVING OUT.

I went to our room and the bathroom. I was ready to explode. I told DH that no child no matter's who's child is going to disrespect me (SD11 was back talking me as I left the room, when they were told to clean up) and back talk me and it was going to stop NOW. That I hate the choas every other weekend and I am DONE with this SHIT. I hate fighting all the time and I can't take this anymore PERIOD. He was just walking around like nothing happened. He was fine with making my child cry but he runs after SD11 to kiss her ass.

Dh said he went to find out what was wrong with SD11, I would have laid the law down to her ass. But DH is a lazy parent period. So I told him that I was sick of it and I hated our life. Oh and by the way, that 12 days of sex a month was just so fucking great. Our relationship SUCKS.

So what I found out is SD11 tells BD10 that she hates coming here because "she's always in trouble and she just wants her mommy and daddy back together so they can be ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY". She also told BD10 that she was so mad at her dad "she wanted to slap him in the face".

I've decided to get a voice recording device, I'm hiding it in that room and I'm not telling ANYONE where it is and it's there.

So I told DH what SD11 told BD10, I almost didn't but it was eating at me. DH just says "she doesn't like it here, she can stay with her mom. I'm not going back to BM and we were never a big happy family" That he told SD11 when they were outside (aka kissing her ass) that the reason "BM and DH split up was because they fought all the time and he hated it. That all this stuff every time all they are here is making us fight and we hate it". I know SD11 was thinking, good let's get rid of her. I feel like that has always been her plan.

I was irritated that DH was so calm about what SD11 said "happy family". He said I'm sure your kids want that too, I said if they do it isn't spoken to me. My kids went to counseling so they could deal with the break up and what their feelings were. They talk to me and before the choas of the last year my kids were happy I was with DH. They aren't happy now and neither am I.

So how do you deal with the fact that the SD's just want their MOM and DAD back together, so they can be ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY? BM has had another kid by another man, so how would that even work. I think BM has said this to them because BM and DH have been separated/divorced since SD9 was 7 months old. Shouldn't SD11 be over this childish thought by now?

SD11 also eluded that if BM and DH were back together, "she wouldn't be in trouble". She just wants everything to be "PERFECT". SD9 came in the room (so I was told) and said "it's not, get over it". What does everything being "perfect" mean?

This is eating me up. Really. I'm unhappy so maybe that's why but I can't believe this kid is still expressing this. Is it unrealistic to expect an 11 year old to realize their parents are never getting back together and to stop saying this, especially to MY BD10.

SD11 didn't even care that she was talking about BD10's mom (me) being left by my DH (daddy Allen to my kids) to go back to their MOM. Selfish much? Seriously, you bitch to my kid that you want your dad to leave HER MOM.

Is there anything to make this statement not sting? Or am I expected to just pretend I don't know she said it?