My DH and I had the SDs last week for the second half of Christmas break. We just returned them to their mom who lives in another state. Last week, we had SD9 and SD11 and my two bios: BS9 and BD3. For the most part, it went well. My DH really stayed vigilant with SD11 about her attitude. And she behaved really well. My big issue is with SD9. She is a major problem in our household. SD9 will not listen. She does whatever she wants. But, she is sneaky about it. She waits until you are not looking. I work nights so I have to sleep during the day. We had a girl down the street stay with the SDs while I was sleeping. SD9 was so loud during those days that she woke me up continuously. Now, this may not seem like a big deal. But, the main issue I have with SD9 is this: Whenever an adult talks to her, she absolutely looks right through you like you aren't even there. My DH has to ask her things repeatedly and force her to speak. When she does answer, she whispers and then starts whining. She does this to everyone whenever she is in one of her moods. If you say anything to her that she doesn't like, she bursts into tears and curls in a ball and cries as loud as possible. Or, she crawls under furniture and refused to come out. I used to think that something was wrong with her that causes it. But, I am now convinced that this is a manipulative act. She only does it when DH is around, probably because I just ignore her. If she doesn't answer me, then she misses out. But for some reason, DH and his whole family think her little baby act is cute. How is it cute to have a child rudely ignore an adult who is talking???

Things boiled over this trip on the third night that the SDs were with us. SD9 had been whining all night. She smarted off to DH after dinner and he told her to go to bed. She climbs up on the pull out where the SDs sleep and starts her act of crying as loud as she can. My BS9 and SD11 went in the other room to play. I was in the kitchen. DH was moving back and forth between the garage and our living room. SD9 would cry whenever DH was in the room, but as soon as he went to the garage, she would sneak the remote and start watching TV. I went to the garage and told DH to go and turn off the TV. He says he will. But then he walks past her several times without doing it. This is about the time I go to bed. I knew what he was doing. He was hoping I would go to bed and he wouldn't have to follow through. I asked him about it again. He says that he was thinking of letting her get up. I asked why and he says, "I don't need a reason. I'm her father."

Ladies, I lost it. I told him that if he felt that way then he better figure out a way to take care of them without my help. I told him it was total crap that he would let her get up or lay there and watch TV. The other kids wouldn't have gotten the same privilege. Finally, he went in and turned off the TV. Later, we had a talk about SD9 and he admitted that it is hard for him to punish her. He says that he feels so guilty because she is so fragile. He says he will work on it. And, I saw him trying for the rest of this trip. But, I just don't get it. How can he be so strict on one of his children and so afraid to punish the other?? It is very frustrating.