I am full on into my disengagement practice. For those who have questions about how it works, here are some day-to-day examples.

* Still haven't washed SDs linens (since May). SD9 quilt filthy. Both carpets filthy. SD11, food bowls in room (not supposed to have food in her room). Ignored. DP mentioned he was going to get on this today. But I don't hold my breath.

* Finished painting SD11 dresser for her (head off her asking DP for a new one which I knew she was going to do). My LAST project with her done. Do I get a thank you? NO? Of course not! Do I get a thank you for the new boots I found for her ($2 at a garage sale)? HA! Of course not. This is why all my "help" is not going to happen any longer.

* I havn't shopped all week for any food for SDs. Yesterday was DPs birthday so I made tacos for everyone and got a pie I wasn't sure SDs would like. Because, who cares!? (they ended up liking it to my amazement)

* Have I cleaned anything up? NO. DP had to clean up on his birthday yesterday and was put out about it. I shrugged and proceeded to set the table for dinner on top of all the crap (SD9 and DPs) left on it.

* SD11 once again went for the whipped cream w/out asking. AFTER we already had dessert. I ignored whipped cream grab, DP half-heartedly said, "SD11, don't do that...." as she continued to do that. I ignored.

* SD11 then came up again after we were in bed (I heard her come up stairs), likely for MORE whipped cream. Because when I went into kitchen this morning NEW fridge was partway open. Threw some things away (one of them my freaking lunch), fridge was overheating. I simply told DP, someone left the fridge partway open last night. I hope it turns on again after it cools off. If it doesn't you need to go get ice and set up the cooler. He says, well, worst case we have to buy a new one (just note this is a small, nice, $150 fridge temporary till we get a new bigger one, but STILL). I think, but do not say, "Hell no I won't pay a dime for ANOTHER fridge that SD11 may have caused the need for..." I walk away, and tell him, you need to figure it out and let me know later this morning. I have to go to work. (fridge did start working again thank god).

* SDs need school clothes. I have no idea why BM bought SD11 some things, but almost nothing for SD9. I did pick things out for SDs on line (I feel ok doing this so long as SDs make final decision on which items they want - I can control costs and time saved this way). They picked out a few things and now DP and I are going to discuss today how HE wants to purchase them. I don't pay a dime.