Okay, so we ALL know what Whip it's are...most of the time it's a silly tween or teen chuffing the air out of a can of reddi whip, or at least it used to be that...

In recent years it's become much more sinister & dangerous with the introduction of actual paraphernalia that's used with "cream chargers", things you can buy at most markets, grocery stores. Anyway, yesterday I went into the "hallowed halls" of SD19s room to gather up the monster pile of dishes she had accrued & failed to place into our dishwasher after being asked repeatedly to do so. While I was collecting 3 plates, 2 glasses & a bowl I had to cleanup a coke that our cat has spilled. Well, because SD19 had not shut the drawer on her bedside table, not only did stale coke pour in there to make additional mess, but I also noticed a few things that shouldn't have been there. The 1st was a large can of Budweiser "mug-a-Rita, unopened, the next was a 24 pack of cream chargers, you know, those small silver nitrous oxide filled cartridges? Then a large heavy weight plastic child's balloon w/ a purple dispenser type cartridge attached (for lack of a better way to describe it) and an empty cigarette pack.

Now DH & myself know she smokes as well as drinks as often as she can. Me personally? I'm not okay with this & have said as much. DH just doesn't react much to it, takes the sowing her wild oats approach as always. But the whip it's take things up a notch for me. Not only is this dangerous, but stupid. And I have a 10 yr old DS that I don't want seeing these types of things & emulating them later on. I started to take the lot of things, put them in a bag & then talk to DH, but DS10 hit his head on something, screaming ensued & before I knew it it was 11:30pm & in my exhaustion I forgot. However when I woke up this morning I did speak with DH about this, that whip it's & the items needed to do this shouldn't be in her room. Then I left to go to yoga class. By the time I got home DH was out running errands & im not sure if he actually spoke to her or not. SD19 is in a good mood so I'm guessing NO.

I should preface a little back story here. SD19 is only tolerable in very small doses. VERY SMALL. To put it mildly, any adult with whom she live with that holds her to any standard or disciplines her is the enemy. The other set of parents are the ones she likes as she lives away from them 60-70% of the time so her time with them goes much easier. Less stress & standards going on. SD19 has gone through around 17 cell phones, 13 of them being iPhones & 3 cars, the 1st a 2002 Red dodge neon, the 2nd a 2005 red Jetta 4 door & the most recent, a 2009 Red Ford Focus with only 24,000 miles. DH & I bought the neon, which she wrecked twice because she was texting both times causing us to replace the tires & wheel wells both times in less than 3 months. Eventually we sold the neon in order to give her BM the proceeds to fix the 05 Jetta which SD19 had started driving (because the neon had a warped frame & the front end couldn't be aligned after wreck #2) and in that 1st month the Jettas engine started overheating. Anyway, we fix the Jetta & within 3-4 months, while driving back to school SD19 is flying down the interstate after waiting until the last minute to leave, is following a car too closely & when they put on the brakes, narrowly avoids hitting them but gets rear ended & totals the Jetta. Fast forward to February, about 3 months after that, her BM her husband buy SD19 the Ford Focus. Three weeks after the purchase SD19 & some friends are going to Florida, SD19 asks can she take her new car, BM says yes, her husband says no causing a huge argument where he finally agrees that yes she can drive to Florida. After less than 24 hours in Florida SD19 calls my DH to ask him how much a new hood would cost for her ford, then hangs up. He calls SD19 back & finds out that when SD19 & her friend had woken up in Florida, SD19 had headache, (read: hungover) & let her friend drive her car to the store where said friend rear ended another car causing 5000.00 in damages to SD19's ford. The same Ford that has t even had the 1st payment made.

So BMs husband refuses to let SD19 have the Ford back & rightly so, causing SD19 to start an outright smear campaign against him. Right when SD19 moved in with us about 6 years ago she launched a very successful smear campaign against her BMs then fiancé that resulted in them separating & was later determined to be lies. But that's a post for another day.

After all the SD19 has done, she has started another campaign to get another car. And her stupid BMand my dumb DH are going along with it! And as far as her BMs husband goes? SD19 has caused a huge breech in their up to now, happy marriage. I've talked to DH, should I reach out to the BM and tell her about the whip it's I found? It's obvious that DH isn't going to react until he gets a phone call that SD19 is in jail for a DUI.

I just don't think someone dumb enough to do whip it's & with a record of car ownership like hers should be bought another car. Never mind her penchant for drinking on top of this... Should I talk to BM? Personally I'm tired of SD19 getting away with murder & wandering home in the early mornings like a drunkard, ruining my home life every holiday & April to September, but I also want one of her parents to step up & react appropriately, to quit treating her drinking problems & others like they are the rites of passage for all teens because I know they are not.