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family gatherings

Butterfly45's picture

Submitted by Butterfly45 on Wed, 10/30/2019 - 6:25pm

Is it wrong for me and my husband not wanting to go to family gatherings anymore due to the fact that the BM disrespects me?. 

The fact that the in-laws and his family invite her to everything which she attends. 

My husband says that we as a couple aren't attend his family Gatherings due to the fact that he understands that I feel uncomfortable and pissed at his BM. But he said we should drop off our children to the family events.  because he doesn't want our kids to suffer.

I feel like this would not be a good idea due to the fact that if we drop them off questions would be asked and it may  cause more drama. I feel that we are a (hole) and should stick together.  and the only reason that my kids would want to attend the family gatherings is to hangout with their step siblings.

My thing about it is my husband's family doesn't even do anything when it comes to our kids they don't take them anywhere they don't spend time with my kids. but when it comes with the BM and the step kids her kids that's a different story they go places they do things they go out of their way and always defends and protects them.

 

Comments

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Wed, 10/30/2019 - 6:49pm

So you are ostracised in favor of the "first family" from your DH's family gatherings? Not cool!

Especially since from a previous post it is obvious that BM wants your DH back with her.

"she misses him and she still loves him"

Seriously, DH needs to have a talk with his family that BM is not invited to family gatherings

That is extremely disrespectful that they invite her to everything. My Dh's family would never do that to us.

Butterfly45's picture

Submitted by Butterfly45 on Wed, 10/30/2019 - 7:29pm

This is a nightmare  situation from hell... the olny thing is the stepchildren aren't any better. The BM and stepchildren know how to play when it comes to his family and play Victem. And put on a good show on "poor me" and cry. My dad dont care for us  boohoo.

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

Submitted by CompletelyPuzzled on Wed, 10/30/2019 - 11:45pm

There is no way I would ever drop off my bios to a family event where BM or my Skids would be.  I can see that leading to so much drama.  Plus, you'd have to rely on DH's family to take care of them.  I am not sure about you, but I don't want my bios anywhere near crazy BM.

If it were me, I'd just tell DH's family that you already have plans for said day and leave it at that.  It is going to cause more drama and raise more questions if the kids are there without you.

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Thu, 10/31/2019 - 7:23am

Yeah, I wouldn't drop them off if BM and skids are there - if the grandparents want to see your kids at another time alone, that's fine, but why expose them to people gossiping about their parents and starting drama?  That seems like something they SHOULD miss out on.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 10/31/2019 - 8:14am

Yeah, you, your DH and your bio's should just skip the next few events that BM is invited to. DH should keep it real short and simple with his family- "Either you are my family or you are BM's, you can make the call but if you are my family you will start treating my WIFE and OUR children with the same respect, kindness and courtesty you treat BM and the Skids with. If not, we have no problems cutting ties with toxic people, even if they are blood."