Are you renting or leasing or do you own? Put the plan in action to move far away. Drop the SS off at a police station or a fire station. Where the f is bm?

I am so sorry about your husband.

Unless SS can support himself, the courts will not emancipate him. He can live with a family member, or if no family will take him, they would put him in foster care.

You are under no obligation to let him keep living with you. I am not sure of the legal responsibility, it seems like you would have to agree to be appointed his guardian. Check with Family Services.

So sorry about your husband. You are not obligated to keep custody of him no matter what he wants. Find a family member to take him. 

If his grandfather will take him, then have him go to his grandfather. It doesn't matter what SS wants. He's been a thorn in your side and has done nothing to make you want to keep him. You have no obligation to or responsibility for him. Send him to grandpa asap.

Yeah I would tell SS he can go to grandpa's or a foster home.  You need to heal as well and having a troubled kid around is not good for you.

I think that grandpa is your best bet!

If you do not want legal custody of him.

What happened to BM?

Unless you legally adopted him, you have no legal right or obligation to this kid.  

No, he can't just stay with you. What he wants is immaterial. He's been making your life hell for years, now it's payback time. He has a mother and she has a family. Call CPS and tell them that he can no longer live with you now that his father is gone. And don't get talked into taking care of him "temporarily".

You have no legal authority over this child and his needs to go to family.  It would be different if you got along with him but reality is he's been trying to get away from you for as long as you have been posting.  Plus he has dragged your name and character through the mud with all your community.  He's not going to change.  What would happen if he goes to CPS and says you are abusing him?

I am sorry for your loss. Was your husband's passing sudden or did he have time to discuss with SS what will happen? 

I am so sorry for your loss and now this struggle.

I agree with the others who said it doesn't matter what he wants. At the end of the day you have to take care of yourself. If Gramps is willing, that's where he needs to go. 

I don't know your financial situation or if you own or rent, but I would think moving would be a great "excuse" to have him move out without you being some horrible stepmonster. Also... where is his mother? She is the one who is supposed to get custody if dad dies. Unless she is gone too... Did your DH have a will? What was written about SS?

What about the neighbors you said last year offered to take him?

I was going to say that maybe this is a good chance to have a structured environment for him with boundaries that you couldn't enforce in the past. Then I did more reading and saw what the skid has done to you. He obviously doesn't care one bit about you and only wants to stay with you so he can do whatever he wants. He probably thinks he'll get to run the entire show while you foot the bill. It's not your job to give him a home or even find him a new one. Put it with the courts or whatever authorities you have in your area that handle juveniles.

I'm sorry for your loss, it must be very difficult to deal with that.. and have the extra stress of this issue as well. 

But...Children aren't like some stamp collection that you bequeath in your will.. or becomes your property when a spouse passes away.  Legally, he is not your child.  He doesn't become your child just because his father has passed away.  I'm assuming that his mother is either deceased or MIA?  Social Services should be stepping in and helping to establish a guardianship for the boy.  He may not WANT to go to his grandfather's (assuming he is the closest blood relative and capable of taking him).. but that may be where he has to go.  

I mean, if you were inclined and WANTED to allow him to remain with you and live with you.. I'm sure it could be worked out legally.. but this is NOT your obligation.. you don't have to do it.  

You really need to see if his grandfather really is willing to take him.. and you may need to have social services ensure that legally happens.  

As far as what the boy wants, an apology that you are not equipped to raise him by yourself and that his GF is the best place for him.. that's what I would do.

You need to protect your mental health during this awful time.  
I just read your other posts and this child is going to need extra mental health support now.  It's not your job to provide this and it doesn't sound like he listens to you anyway.  Call CPS immediately before there is a blow out and the cops come yet again.  Sorry again. 

Does anybody else think this whole thing is fake?